


Young Guns

by leia_scott



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Major Original Character(s), Psychological Torture, Torture, disturbing imagery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:59:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7399819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leia_scott/pseuds/leia_scott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>June 1984. The Diamond Dogs begin operations in Africa. Distrust and insubordination are threatening the stability of the ranks, and after the sudden rise in the influence and power of the PF known as Rogue Coyote it soon becomes clear that Kaz won't be able to escape the demons he left in Rhodesia five years prior. Faces from his past have come back to haunt him and he becomes swept up in conflicts he thought he had buried long ago as he simultaneously deals with Diamond Dogs business and the reality of spies within the ranks of his most trusted men.<br/>Amidst the insanity, he must also come to terms with the fact that there is a new generation of mercenaries that have their sights set on the world: Emma and her brothers-in-arms, the few but fearless Diamond Dogs that will ultimately be the ones to enforce Big Boss' vision when he is gone. Kaz must find the courage to entrust this future to these plucky yet resilient heroes, these young guns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Win Some, You Lose Some

**Author's Note:**

> Emma Ross is my OC, and this story runs parallel to the events of MGSV. All art is by yours truly.
> 
>  
> 
> Check out my blog at kazuhiradarling.tumblr.com!

 

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

 

        The harsh fluorescent lights beat down on Emma unforgivingly, illuminating every cut and bruise. Dried blood was still smeared across her chin and cheeks, a few flecks staining her shirt. The need to sleep tugged at her eyelids but she couldn’t bring herself to curl up on the cold metal floor, as if doing so would somehow mean admitting defeat. She could hear hissed remarks and laughter from the opposite cell and she shot its occupant an icy glare, shutting him up almost immediately. He would probably be back at it again in a few minutes. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, cursing herself for being stupid enough to land herself in the brig in the first place. Her watch beeped. 06:00. She had been here all night and hadn’t slept a wink.  
        She was surprised and slightly disappointed that there hadn’t been word from Kaz yet. Then again, she almost felt like an extended stay in the brig would be better; that way she wouldn’t have to face him. She wasn’t at all ashamed of what she had done, but rather… disappointed that she had gotten caught. Hell, she would do it again. Easily. But Kaz wouldn’t want to hear any of that.  
        “Breakfast comes in about… eh… twenty minutes.” The neighboring cell’s occupant spoke up, looking at his watch. He had introduced himself quite eloquently the previous night, only a few minutes after Emma had gotten thrown into the cell next to his. He was a fairly new addition to the Diamond Dogs but was far from fresh-faced, judging by his vivid recounts of incidents that had landed him in the brig previously.  
        Emma snorted. “You really _have_ gotten accustomed to this, haven’t you?”  
        He shrugged. “Like I said, not my first time at the rodeo.” He clicked his tongue at the guard in the adjacent cell block. “Any word from the kitchen today, Grizzly?”  
        The guard leaned against the bars, shaking his head. “MRE’s again today, Ace. Sorry.”  
        “Dammit.” Ace sat back down on the floor with a huff, running his hands through his hair tiredly.  
        “I bet you’ll think twice before giving Commander Miller guff next time, huh?”  
        Ace turned to Emma, his eyebrow raised. “What, you gonna give me the ol’ one-two like you did to those other guys?”  
        Emma sighed. She never meant for it to get out of hand. But Kaz and Snake were running a tight ship and they couldn’t be everywhere at once. Insubordination had been popping up in the ranks recently and it was beginning to have an effect of morale. There were the harmless troublemakers like Ace, who were one thing, but recently there had been an upward trend of unruliness among the men. Although... what she did last night could barely be considered an attempt to tackle the disobedience head-on. To be honest, they were just three guys that happened to be the straw that broke the camels back. One of them had ended up in the cell behind her but ended up being taken away at some point the previous night due to… well… disagreements. Emma had gotten a rifle butt to the jaw from one of the guards, so she couldn't tell where he was taken. But she would find him.  
        There was a buzz as the brig door opened and everyone snapped to attention as they heard the familiar click of the Commander’s crutch on the floor. Emma remained seated, burying her face in her hands in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. She wanted to disappear, to shrink into an infinitesimally small size and keep shrinking for eternity.  
        Even Ace stood at attention, his hand in a rigid salute. _“Emma!”_ he hissed out of the corner of his mouth. “It’s Commander Miller! Get your ass up!”  
        “I know,” Emma grumbled, only sinking lower into her hands. She heard the footsteps stop in front of her cell and there was another buzz and a click as her cell door opened. She looked up to see Kaz and another guard standing outside the door. Kaz’s expression was frighteningly unreadable, his eyes hidden by his glasses and the fluorescent light casting sharp shadows on his face. She suddenly felt incredibly ridiculous, sitting here before him, covered in blood with heat already creeping into her cheeks. She saw his jaw clench and she instantly knew she was in a heap of trouble.  
        “Out.” He nodded his head towards the door and she rose quietly, looking down at the floor as she left the cell. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she silently followed him out the door. When she got outside she shielded her eyes from the harsh sunlight and tugged cautiously on the sleeve of Kaz’s coat.  
        “Kaz, I-”  
        “I don’t want to hear it.”  
        Emma stopped in her tracks, looking cautiously around the platform before continuing in a more hushed tone. "This is my job, Kaz. You've got to let me do my _fucking job_! You can't expect me to sit back quietly when someone's threatening your life!"  
        Kaz turned to face her, his eyes narrowing. “I expect you not to let these things get to you, Emma. Beating the living shit out of someone because they said something less than favorable about me isn't in your job description.” She could tell that he was in a considerable amount of pain this morning, his teeth clenched tightly as he frowned upon her with tired eyes. “How do you think it felt, getting the staff report last night and seeing your name under admittance to the _goddamn brig_ , Emma?”  
        Emma looked down at her feet once more. She had neglected to think about how it would look not only for her, but for _him_ , if she was going around picking fights. _Picking fights_.   
        “I’m sorry, Kaz.” And she genuinely was. She took a moment to place herself in his shoes, trying to imagine the embarrassment and disappointment he must have felt, bailing her out like that.  
        “I have half a mind to make you stay in there for the full two weeks. You just _can’t do this,_ Emma.”  
        “I know…” Emma sighed. “What about the others?” she said quietly.  
        “Two of them are in the infirmary. The other has been transferred to another cell block. On another goddamn platform.” Kaz shook his head tiredly. “I have enough on my mind, Emma. I shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not you’ll be getting into another scuffle.”  
        “Kaz, just hear me out. They were saying-”  
        “I _don’t_ want to hear it,” he repeated. “Go get yourself cleaned up. We’ll talk more about this later.”  
        Emma bit her lip and fumed as she watched him head towards the command building, his coat billowing slightly in the morning breeze. She almost wished she could crawl back into the brig and not have to see him again for another two weeks. Yes, they ran a very tight ship, but Kaz would never let that happen. Now he was going to get even more flak from the recruits for giving her special treatment. This situation was just adding fuel to the fire. She hated to admit it, but he was right. She couldn't be involving herself in these kinds of things. But the words that had been uttered last night still haunted her, and nothing he could say would change that.  
        She would find some way to try to make it up to him. Not that he had much patience for anything anymore… But she would try. She couldn’t help but think that only a year ago he would have taken this much more lightly…  
        _No._  
        She couldn’t keep comparing him to the way he used to be. He was the only reason she would ever throw the first punch, and that would never change. Still, it pained her to see this sadness, this anger, that had consumed him. Sure, the recruits could gossip about it all they like. But they didn’t see him the way she saw him, at two o-clock in the morning when the pain was too much to bear. They couldn’t see the frustration in his eyes when he wanted nothing more than to pick up and hold his daughter, on the rare occasion either of them ever saw her. They could never even begin to fathom everything he had given up for their sake.  
        It just wasn’t fair.  
        And yet he managed to get up every day and give his all. It was a complete mystery to her as to why anyone wouldn’t respect that.  
        Emma sighed as she waved her access card in front of the door, kicking off her boots once she got inside. She smiled as she saw the unmade bed and the clothes piled up on the floor next to it. Some things never changed.  
        She knew eventually this would all blow over, but there would be consequences. At the same time, though, she wouldn’t even need to raise a fist next time. Word had always traveled fast on Mother Base and this occasion wouldn’t be any different. People would be treading a little more carefully around her now.  
        And that was _exactly_ the way she liked it.

 

 

 


	2. Suspended

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

 

        _“What?!”_ Emma could hardly believe what she was hearing. “But my unit… They’re expecting me to brief them in an hour-”  
        “I’ve already arranged to have someone else step up to the plate in your absence. You should thank me,” Kaz said, shrugging on his coat. "Suspending you from duty is pretty lenient, considering the alternatives. It’s just for a week, Em. I’m sure you’ll survive.”  
        Emma scowled as she handed him his beret. “What do you expect me to do? Just sit on my ass?”  
        Kaz took the beret and put it on, adjusting it meticulously before turning to her and placing his hand on her shoulder. “Just make yourself useful. Check with Snake or Ocelot. I’m sure there's something you could help them out with. And if they don’t have anything for you, I could probably think of a _long_ list of things for you to do.”  
        She had almost predicted this. She didn’t expect her actions to come without consequences, but wouldn’t suspending her have serious repercussions on the performance of her unit? Surely he wouldn’t want that. But... it would have been the same way if she was still sitting in the brig.  
        Emma pouted. “Fine.”  
        Kaz placed a finger under her chin and smiled. “Chin up, kiddo. It’s not all that bad. I let you off pretty easy.”  
        That much was true. The usual punishment for instigating violence was much harsher. She had even seen some Diamond Dogs immediately dismissed for starting fights. Kaz wouldn't go so far as to do the same to her, but he couldn’t afford to be showing too much favor.  
        Emma sighed and leaned forward, softly planting a kiss on his lips. “Have a good day, Kaz.”  
        “You too,” he said, taking his crutch before heading for the door. “Stay out of trouble, okay?”  
        “I’ll try.” Emma waited until the door had closed behind him before falling back on the bed and rubbing her eyes tiredly. He had been in somewhat of a better mood since he had come back the previous night, surprisingly, and she had done everything in her power to help it last. It was a rarity that he ever woke up with a smile and she hoped and prayed that nothing would ruin his day, especially since she had been the one to cause him so much trouble recently.  
        After at least ten minutes of complaining to herself, Emma stood and pulled on her uniform, lacing up her boots and pulling her hair into a bun. She was a little hesitant to see what Snake needed done, since the tasks he liked to assign were hardly… well… _interesting_. Last time she had asked him for something to do he had stuck her in the supply room recording incoming shipments with one particular recruit who wouldn’t stop talking. Ocelot didn’t assign much better tasks either, but at least he would make an attempt to keep it relatively interesting. Emma slipped her gun into its holster and stepped out into the crisp morning air.  
        Mother Base was already springing to life as Emma made her way to the command platform. Soldiers were bustling back and forth between platforms as they went about their business. Emma received firm salutes as she passed them. Word certainly _had_ gotten around fast. She quickened her pace when she saw the familiar head of silvery blond hair. Ocelot seemed to be deep in conversation with another recruit, but Emma cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to him anyways.  
        “Ocelot!”  
        He looked up when he heard his name and smiled as Emma approached. With him was the recruit Snake had brought back several weeks ago, a young woman who couldn’t have been very much younger than Emma herself. She was a perplexing character, to say the least. Emma had heard her fair share about her from Kaz, who didn’t even _try_ to hide his dislike for the girl. She was apparently quite the combatant but tended to cause a ruckus every now and then. Kaz was convinced that she was a lost cause. Ocelot, however, saw the potential in her and decided to take it upon himself to try to straighten her out.  
        “Emma,” Ocelot greeted, handing the clipboard he was holding to the girl and hooking his hands onto his belt. “That was quite a commotion you caused the other night. Next time you want to beat the living daylights out of someone, you should come to me for a few pointers first.”  
        Emma laughed nervously. She wasn’t really sure whether he was condemning or condoning her actions. Either way, a sparring match with Ocelot was certainly not on her list of priorities. She had been humiliated enough for one week. Emma looked over at the girl, who had been watching Emma closely from the moment she had waltzed over.  
        “Ocelot's new pet project, eh?” Emma said, raising an eyebrow.  
        “This is Sylf,” he said, gesturing to her. “She was also getting herself into a spot of trouble the other night. Apparently attempting some vandalization after curfew. Too bad she wasn’t thrown into the brig with you. She could use a good influence right about now.”  
        Emma held her hand out to Sylf, who studied it for a moment before taking it in a firm handshake. “I’m Emma.” She laughed. “Well, I’m sure Ocelot’s probably spilled quite a few of my secrets at this point, but I spend most of my time between Combat and Command. I have a unit-” Emma sighed. “ _Had_ a unit… You should drop by sometime.”  
        Ocelot turned to Sylf. “See, suspension from duty impacts Diamond Dogs operations no matter where along the rank structure it happens. It’s nothing to be taken lightly. Always, _always_ think about the consequences of your actions.”  
        Ocelot was _not_ helping. Emma hated the feeling of being used as an example of what not to do. She mouthed a subtle “yikes” and saw the corner of Sylf’s lips turn upwards slightly upon seeing it.  
      _“Hey,”_ Ocelot said, snapping his fingers in front of Sylf’s face. The hint of a smile was gone as suddenly as it had appeared and she looked back up at him challengingly. “You’re pushing your luck. Don’t dig yourself an even deeper hole.” He turned back to Emma. “Miller told me you might be headed this way. He asked me to give you something to do.”  
        Emma sighed. “That sounds about right, yeah.”  
        Ocelot placed a hand on Sylf’s shoulder. “I was thinking you could take Sylf with you to Intel. We’re still understaffed for monitoring our ops in Angola, so they could use the extra two pairs of eyes. What do you say?”  
        _Intel?_ Emma started to object but she saw the look in Ocelot’s eye and knew he couldn’t be swayed on the matter. “Sure.”  
        “Good.” He took the clipboard back from Sylf. “If she gives you any trouble, don’t hesitate to let me know.” He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve got a lot to work on, don’t we, Sylf?”  
        “Yes sir,” Sylf said begrudgingly, breaking her silence. Her voice had a certain cold intensity that Emma couldn’t quite put her finger on, and she looked back up at Emma expectantly, her eyes the most startling blue Emma had ever seen in her life.  
        “Well, let’s get an early start, I guess,” Emma said, motioning to the jeep parked a few meters away. She hopped in and turned the keys in the ignition as Sylf climbed in beside her. Emma didn’t want to have to spend all day in the windowless Intel building, much less spend her time watching over some unpredictable recruit. But Ocelot would undoubtedly tell Kaz if she made a fuss. Emma shifted the jeep into gear and they headed off towards the Intel platform.  
        “So,” Emma started, attempting to break the heavy silence as Sylf looked out over the water. “Where are you from, Sylf?” Her question was met with silence. Emma cleared her throat and tried again. “You were stationed in Africa, weren’t you? You know, not too long ago, I was actually-”  
         Sylf cleared her throat loudly, indicating that she didn't wish to partake in any small talk. Emma sighed and fell silent, cursing Ocelot for tasking her with this in the first place.  
        They pulled up next to the Intel building and hopped out of the jeep, and as they made their way inside Emma noticed that Sylf wasn’t carrying a handgun. Obviously whatever she had done previously had gotten her personal weapons privileges revoked. Emma hoped she wouldn’t try anything or prove to be too unruly. The cool air conditioning washed over them as they made their way inside and Emma led Sylf up the stairs to the second level. Radios and monitors lined the walls, the screens casting an eerie glow upon the faces of the room’s three other occupants, whose eyes were glued to the screens before them. Emma motioned for Sylf to take a seat at one of the monitors at the far end of the room while she looked over the reports. No new or suspicious activity in the sector they were monitoring. It was going to be a long day. She took the reports over to where Sylf was sitting and took a seat next to her, laying the reports out on the table.  
        “It looks like we’re monitoring activity from Kiziba Camp today. There hasn’t been anything suspicious coming out of there for the past week and a half so I don’t expect to run into any trouble today. But if something looks off, let me know.”  
        “I’m not supposed to be in Intel-”  
        “Neither am I, and yet here we are with our asses suspended. I would suggest putting that headset on and getting to work.”  
        Emma sat down at the adjacent monitor and put on her own headset. Sylf had a good point. Neither of them were trained for this and if something was missed it would fall on their shoulders. Surely they were more of a liability than a help in this situation. Still, Emma had no idea this particular Intel unit was so understaffed.  
        Hours passed and Emma’s eyes felt like they were going to melt out of her skull after staring at the dull blue glow of the screen for so long. She had already gone through two cups of coffee and was in desperate need of another. The comms had been quiet the whole time. Emma was beginning to think it was a waste of everyone’s time when Sylf spoke up from beside her.  
        “I’m picking up a distress call. It’s coming from inside Kiziba Camp.”  
        Emma shot up from her seat and took the headset from Sylf, sliding it onto her own head and listening to the transmission. The interference was strong but she could just make out the unmistakeable pattern of a distress signal. She spun back around towards Sylf.  
        “Get Ocelot on the radio and _get him over here_.”


	3. Mark My Words

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

        “What are we looking at here?” Kaz had pulled Emma into the hall as Intel team members began to flood into the room. He had been getting mixed reports the whole way over from the Command platform. Some had been saying that there were at least four agents that had been taken prisoner, others were saying the CFA was simply using the frequency to draw attention. He had taken it upon himself to get the truth from the source he trusted the most.  
        Emma ran a hand through her hair. “There are two Intel agents being held captive at Kiziba Camp. One of them said that he would attempt an escape but the frequency cut out before we could advise him to sit tight. We think he’s probably going to try to break out anyways. That’s all we’ve managed to piece together so far.”  
        “Dammit,” Kaz huffed. An escape would only draw more attention. “What about the other?”  
        “Our contact said the other agent is in worse condition.” Emma shook her head. “Kaz, I think he’s going to leave him behind. That’s only going to make it harder to bring both of them back alive. If the CFA finds out that one of them is missing-”  
        “I know.” What kind of Diamond Dog risks his comrade’s life just to get away? He thought they were trained to be better than this.  
        “What if we-”  
        “No.”  
        “Kaz, hear me out-”  
      _“No._ We’re sending Snake with minimal support. He should be able to get this sorted out.”  
        Emma sighed. Kaz knew she was itching to see some action after only a mere day of suspension. But rules were rules and they applied to all Diamond Dogs.  
        “Don’t you think this is a little unfair? _Goddammit Kaz,_ I know Kiziba Camp. If you let me go out there with B Unit we can have all of this sorted out. Why do you insist on holding me back like this?”  
        The pain in his arm had been beginning to flare up again and her complaining _really_ wasn’t helping. He clenched his jaw.  
        “Watch your tone, Emma. Don’t forget who you’re talking to.” His words shut her down almost immediately and he regretted saying them as soon as they came out of his mouth. Emma narrowed her eyes at him and started to push past him, but he caught her arm. "B Unit belongs on Mother Base unless I say so, and I'm certainly not saying so. Not to mention you're already in a heap of trouble as it is." Emma pursed her lips and wrenched her arm from his grasp, heading down the stairs in a huff.  
        Kaz sighed. His day had been going surprisingly well up until this point. But as soon as the report of a distress signal came in he knew it was only a matter of time until everything went downhill. He hated having to pull the rank card on Emma, but if the other recruits saw her back-talking him it would only be matter of time before they started, too. He knew it was hard for her to get accustomed to her new position. Being in his personal protection unit wasn't exactly her cup of tea, and although she ran a tight ship within the unit, he knew she always enjoyed the rare occasion when he would deploy them. However, he wasn't going to let her free spirit influence his decisions. In her defense, he hadn’t been making it very easy for her.  
        Kaz took a moment to pull himself together as the wave of pain passed before heading into the Intel room. It was abuzz with activity, but Kaz spotted Ocelot across the room and made his way over to him.  
        “What’s your call, Miller?” Ocelot said, setting the report he was holding down on the table. “This could get messy.”  
        Kaz pursed his lips. “I’m sending in Snake to get our men out. I want E Unit in there for extraction and cleanup.”  
        Ocelot pulled the radio from his belt. “This is Command, I want E Unit prepped any ready for departure in ten.” He turned and searched the room until he saw Sylf. He motioned for her to come over. “Sylf, I want you to head in with E. Pack light and take your PSG-1.” She started to leave but he he held his finger in front of her face authoritatively and she froze. “You’re still under suspension,” he warned. “But I think it’ll be good for you to tag along.” She nodded and disappeared.  
        Kaz hated the idea of having her out there with the others. She was a liability, not to mention more trouble than she was worth. “Ocelot…”  
        “I know what you’re thinking. But I don’t expect her to do anything more than observe this time around. As soon as her feet are back on Mother Base she’ll be on suspension again.”  
        Kaz grit his teeth. There wasn’t much he could do now other than waste time arguing, which he had done enough of for one day. “Fine,” he snapped tiredly. He couldn’t believe he was agreeing to this. Bending the rules. He shook his head. “Tell me when they’re ready for departure.”  
        “Sure thing.”  
        Kaz watched as intel agents bustled around the room before him. Diamond Dogs’ African operations had been in a constant state of disarray since they started. He had begun to wonder if any of it would come together at all. Maybe it was partly his fault. He never knew whether he was giving enough effort. He knew Emma would say he was giving _too much,_ but was that ever enough? It had started to seem like giving his all was less than sufficient.  
        There was a buzz from Ocelot’s radio and a voice crackled over it. _“E Unit is ready for departure. Permission to board the chopper?”_  
        Ocelot spoke into the radio. “Go ahead.” He nodded at Kaz, who turned to the Intel agents that were scrambling to take their places at the monitors.  
        “You know what to do. Let’s get this feed live.” Satellite images began to pop up on the screens around the room and Kaz turned back to Ocelot. “They’re clear.”  
        Ocelot gave the all-clear to the pilot and moments later came the sound of two choppers thundering past the Intel building on their way outbound. He spoke into the radio again. “Grey Raven, have you been briefed on the situation?”  
         There was the sound of a throat being cleared, and a voice that was certainly not Grey Raven's came through the radio. _“Affirmative.”_  
        _That voice._  
        Kaz quickly made his way over to the observation deck door and forced it open just in time to see the helicopters disappear into the clouds.  
        _“Dammit!”_ Kaz hurried back inside and snatched the radio from Ocelot’s hand. “Emma, what the _hell_ are you doing on that chopper?” There was a short silence on the other end before she spoke up.  
        _“Give me this one shot, Kaz. I'm willing to bet we can cut the mission time in half with my unit out there too.”_  
        Kaz couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was borderline misconduct. His blood was boiling.  
        “ _YOU BROUGHT THE REST OF B UNIT WITH YOU?_ I want that chopper turned around _NOW.”_  
        Ocelot spoke up. “We don’t have time for this. Just let it go.”  
      _Let it go?_ Kaz sighed. He knew Ocelot had a point, but that didn’t lessen his anger at all. He held the radio inches from his mouth. “There will be consequences for this, Captain Ross,” he growled. _“I guarantee it.”_  
        _“I’m willing to take the fall for this if something goes wrong.”_  
        Kaz clenched his jaw and handed the radio back to Ocelot, holding himself back from the urge to let loose a long string of profanities.  
        Why had she been acting out so much recently? No one had been more dedicated to the cause of rooting out insubordinates than her, as was proven just the other night when she beat three fellow soldiers half to death over a few snide remarks about their Commander. But even that act in itself was bold, even for her. That was commonplace for her during her time with the Knights, but that was years ago. She had no reason to act like that now. If she didn’t shape up he was going to have to give her unit to someone else. Simple as that. If she couldn’t handle being a responsible leader then she didn’t deserve to be a leader at all. The Diamond Dogs needed people to look up to who followed orders. So far Emma’s track record wasn't looking great in that department. Sure, her unit worshipped the ground she walked on, but for all the wrong reasons.  
        He would let this fly this one time. Just this once.  
        “Let’s get this wrapped up,” he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. the sooner this was over with, the better.  
        It was going to be a _long_ night.


	4. Losing More

_June 1984. Kiziba Camp, Angola._

 

        Emma knew she was going to get hell for her actions when she got back. And she deserved any form of punishment Kaz could possibly give her. But she couldn’t afford to think about that right now. She wasn’t going to sugarcoat it; Kaz was about to fuck everything up by sending in E Unit under Grey Raven’s command. Raven was a good soldier but quite lacking in the strategy department. This didn’t need to be any messier than it already was.  
        She looked around at the other Diamond Dogs in the chopper with her. Her unit never disappointed her. As soon as they got word that Kaz was sending E Unit in they let her know, and she was on the combat platform with them five minutes later, ready to go. Sylf was tagging along this time around as well. She was apparently only supposed to be observing but with a gun like that Emma figured she could probably put her to use. Emma would undoubtedly be getting hell from Ocelot for that, too.  
        Emma wasn’t sure how E Unit would hold up but she could account for her own team. One of the E unit soldiers sat quite casually across from her, his head slumped back as he was in the middle of what appeared to be a light nap. She sighed and gave his shin a kick and he bolted upright, giving his eyes a rub. Emma pointed to her own balaclava.  
        _“Mask,”_ she said. “We’re five minutes from the LZ and you’re the only one who isn’t ready.” Only then did she recognize him as the recruit who had been thrown into the cell next to her in the brig. “Ace?” How the hell did he get out of the brig so fast?  
        He raised an eyebrow as he pulled on his balaclava. “Ehhh… Do I know you?”  
        Emma sighed. “Emma. We, ah…” She leaned forward and lowered her voice so it was just barely audible over the sound of the helicopter’s rotors. “The brig, remember?”  
        “Oh! Yeah! The brig!”  
        _“Shshshshhh…”_ Jesus christ. As if the whole world needed to know. She nodded at his rifle. “You’re a sniper?”  
        He patted his rifle affectionately. “The one and only.” Emma saw Sylf shoot him an icy glare.  
        “Well, we’ll see how you stack up out in the field. If you shoot as well as you run your mouth then you can color me impressed.”  
        Jace shrugged his shoulders. “Challenge accepted.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice, his tone growing more serious. “Listen, about the other day. You didn’t, ah, tell the Commander about the things I told you that I did, did you? Some of them may not have been true and some of them were very _very_ true and I’d like very much to _not_  get booted from the Diamond Dogs. If I knew you were the Commander’s gal-”  
        Emma laughed and held up her hand. “Not a word. He was too busy busting my chops anyways.” She looked out the window and saw the lights of Kiziba camp fast approaching. Less than a kilometer away she could see a clutter of lights that she could only assume to be flashlights. “Fuck.” She stood and motioned for everyone else to do the same. She called out to the pilot. “Drop us Northeast of the camp.” She turned to the rest of the unit. “Hold on.”  
        Emma clung to the overhead bar as her center of gravity suddenly shifted and the helicopter changed course. Her stomach churned and she heard a gagging sound behind her as Sylf doubled over, lifting her balaclava as she dry-heaved. The others quickly stepped out of the way. Poor girl. Her nerves must have been getting to her. Emma watched as the other helicopter set down below. Snake knew what he was doing. One less person for her to worry about.  
        As soon as the helicopter righted itself she pushed her way through the others to Sylf’s side, resting a hand on her back. “You okay? You wanna sit this one out?” Sylf shook her head and straightened back up again, pulling her balaclava back over her face.  
        “I’m fine,” she said weakly.  
        Emma took a deep breath as the helicopter lurched backwards and lowered slowly towards the ground. She slid the door open.  
        “Alright, out!” She waited until everyone else had bailed out before she slung her rifle over her shoulder and jumped out after them.  
        They were almost invisible as they crouched low in the tall grass. The moon was hidden by the clouds, which Emma couldn't have been happier about. She gave signal for the men to stay put and stay low and she made her way over to Grey Raven.  
        “Listen, I know Commander Miller gave you my unit for a week-”  
        “You’re not even supposed to _be_ here. Technically I shouldn’t have to listen to anything you say,” he said bitterly.  
        Emma felt bad about it. This was Raven’s first time leading a unit and she didn’t blame him for being upset that she had come in and ruined his big moment. But lives were at stake and, quite frankly, she didn't trust him with her men.  
        “How exactly were you planning on going about this? You have a strategy, right?” She said, pulling the map out of her pocket.  
        “Of course,” he huffed. “I was going to take B Unit around the back to flank them while E stormed the camp from the front.”  
        “Are you insane? You think we have the numbers to storm the camp? Look around you, Raven.” He did. Between the two units they had ten soldiers. Nowhere near the amount needed for a full-on assault. “This was never supposed to be more than a quick in and out. We’re support, not the goddamn cavalry. There’s a time and a place for that and this is _not_ it.” Grey Raven pursed his lips and she knew he realized it, too. “We have two snipers at our disposal. Let’s make use of them.”  
        Raven nodded quietly and crouched back down with the others, defeated. Emma made her way back over to where Sylf and Ace crouched, their long sniper rifles catching and reflecting the small hint of moonlight that peeked through the clouds. Emma motioned towards the escarpment to the south.  
        “Sylf, I want you up there. Snake will give us the all-clear before he heads North towards the camp. I want you to keep your eyes on Snake, and _only_  on Snake. Drop anyone who gets too close to him.” She turned to Ace. “Ace, see if you can get a lock on our two guys. One of them is most likely still in the camp. The other has made a break for it, but Snake’ll keep us posted on that situation. If there’s a chance to drop anyone who’s too close to the two agents, I want you to take it. But _make sure_ no one’s going to notice.” Sylf and Ace started to head off in their separate directions. “And for the love of god put some dirt on those barrels. You’re going to blind someone with that shine,” she whispered after them.  
        She turned back to the others. “Grey Raven, take the rest of E Unit and make a flank. But _do not_ engage unless you’re given the order, and stay low. I’ll take my unit southwest. We should have a pretty good vantage point from there.” She tapped her earpiece. “Don’t forget to keep your comms open. Alright, let’s go.”  
        Grey Raven broke off with E Unit and Emma took her men in the direction of the camp. They got into position and crouched down, awaiting word from Snake, which finally crackled through their earpieces.  
        _“I have eyes on the first agent.”_  
        Emma took out her binoculars and watched as Snake made his way through the thick greenery. Ahead of him was a large boulder, with a CFA soldier directly on the other side.  
        “Sylf,” Emma began, but the name had barely escaped her lips when she watched the soldier instantly drop to the ground.  
        _Good._  
        She turned her attention to the camp. “Ace, any sign of our other guy?”  
        _“Not yet,”_ came his voice through her earpiece. _“He’s not in any of the cells with the other prisoners.”_  
        “Keep your eyes peeled.”  
        _“Yes ma’am.”_  
        There was a tap on her shoulder and one of her men spoke up.  
        “Captain, the body-”  
        Emma swung her binoculars back towards the soldier Sylf had killed. Another CFA soldier was about to round the corner and run right into it. “Someone move that body…”  
        Another one of her men spoke up from behind her. “What body?”  
        “Oh my god.” Without thinking, Emma vaulted over the rock she was behind and dropped into the underbrush below, making her way towards the body as quickly and silently as she could. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest as flashlight beams flickered mere inches over her head. She was right in the middle of their full-blown search.  
        She spotted the body and flattened herself out on the ground next to it until another beam passed over.  
        _“You’ve got about two seconds until that guy comes around the corner, Captain.”_  
        Emma grabbed the dead soldier by the harness and quickly dragged him into the shadows just as the CFA soldier passed by not three feet in front of her. She stood dead still and stopped her breathing as he slowly meandered around in front of her before disappearing once more around the other side of the rock. She breathed a silent sigh of relief and dragged the soldier around the rock in the direction the soldier had come from. A patch of tall grass was directly behind her and she started to pull the body towards it.  
        _“Captain,”_ Ace’s frantic voice cut through her earpiece. _“Behind you-”_  
        Emma spotted the soldier at the same time he spotted her. His mouth opened and she could hear the yell rising in his throat but there was a zip as a bullet cut through his skull and he dropped almost perfectly into the tall grass.  
        “Thanks, Ace. I owe you one.” She finished pulling the body into the grass just as a Fulton balloon rose silently into the air several dozen meters away, one of the intel agents attached to it. She watched it disappear, relief calming her nerves slightly. “One down, one to go.” She took out her binoculars once more and looked in the direction of the camp. “Sylf, how’s Snake looking?”  
        _“It think he’s spotted the other agent. He’s heading towards the cell block due Northwest.”_  
        “Good, good. Jace?”  
        _“He’s got a clear path all the way there.”_  
        They had this one in the bag. In and out, just the way she had hoped. Kaz would be thanking her when she got back. He was probably too busy on Snake’s comms to notice the great teamwork they had going here. She was actually pretty proud of herself for once-  
        Suddenly shots rang out and gunfire lit up the camp.  
        “What the hell is going on?”  
        There was a crackle before a response came.  
        _“Grey Raven got jumpy,”_ Sylf said. _“Someone got too close to his position.”_  
        “Fuck.” Emma jumped up and sprinted through the grass towards the camp. Suddenly everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams. She saw the second balloon rise into the air and disappear. At least the prisoners got out alright. “B Unit, tail Snake back to the LZ. Jace, Sylf, help me get E Unit out of here alive.” She knew Grey Raven was in danger but she was mentally cursing him nonetheless. He _would_ be the one to fuck everything up, wouldn’t he? She passed Snake going in the opposite direction.  
        “Get your unit _out_ of there,” he growled.  
        Emma kept running. It was one thing to be in trouble with Kaz. But with Snake? Now _that_ was frightening. She sprinted straight through the camp and shot down several soldiers before cutting through to where the rest of E Unit was, returning fire the best they could.  
        “What are you still doing here? _Get the hell out and go North!”_ she yelled. She pulled Grey Raven up from his cover by his harness. “Get your ass _out_ of here!”  
        “We- ah, we’ve got wounded here. J-just one,” he said, pointing back towards a large rock before stumbling down the slope and following the rest of E Unit out.  
        Things were just getting worse and worse by the second. She signaled to Jace to follow the rest of the Unit out before yelling into her radio. “Kaz? _Kaz!”_  
        There was a crackle as his voice came in. _“The chopper will rendezvous with you at an LZ north of the camp. Get everyone out.”_  
        _That was it?_  
        She took a deep breath and hoisted the injured Diamond Dog onto her shoulders as Sylf’s voice came through her earpiece.  
        _“I’ll cover you, Emma. I’m at the LZ but I can get the drop on anyone who follows you.”_  
        The helicopter thundered overhead as Emma headed towards the LZ with the soldier on her back. Bullets whizzed past but Sylf was sniping soldiers left and right as they followed her over the escarpment. When she reached the chopper everyone was already inside. She slid the wounded soldier in and hopped in behind him as the helicopter lifted off the ground. Bullets pinged off the sides but eventually subsided as they got further and further away from the camp.  
        Emma pulled her balaclava off, savoring the feel of cool fresh air on her face. _Another day, another botched mission._ She tried her best not to show her disappointment.  
        “Good work out there today, guys.” She pointed at Grey Raven, who sat with his head in his hands. “With the exception of _you_. You almost got a man killed. There’s some food for thought for the ride home.”  
         She knew that in the end, though, it didn’t matter whose fault it was. She would have to shoulder the blame. It was the unspoken rule of all unit leaders. She dreaded having to face Kaz. _And_ Ocelot. _And_ Snake.  
        There was one good thing that came out of this, though. Two, actually. She nodded at Sylf and Jace, who had pulled their own balaclavas off and were completely covered in grass and dirt.  
        “You two did exceptionally well. I’ll be sure to let both your superiors know about your performance.” Jace grinned from ear to ear and even Sylf’s eyes brightened, a slight smile playing about her lips.  
        Emma leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She, on the other hand, was going to get chewed out.  
        There was a clunk and Emma opened her eyes. Morning light streamed through the cockpit and her stomach dropped as she realized they were back on Mother Base. She had fallen asleep like a complete  _idiot._ The door slid open and there on the platform stood Ocelot and Kaz. A stretcher was wheeled forward and the wounded was immediately loaded on and rolled away. Emma waited for the rest of her unit to hop out before she did. Ocelot immediately began to berate Sylf.  
        “That certainly looked like a lot of ‘observing’ you were doing there. I gave you direct orders and-”  
        Emma stepped in. She could feel Kaz’s eyes burning a hole in her skull but she ignored him. She would get to him in a moment. “It’s my fault, Ocelot. I was the one who put her out there. I should have known better. She’s a great shot, though, and I feel pretty safe knowing she has my back. You should think about letting her tag along more.”  
        Ocelot raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you're in any position to be making requests right now, Captain," he said, nodding back towards Kaz.  
        Ace started to walk past Emma and she caught him by his sleeve before he could walk away. “Ace, thanks again.”  
        He shrugged nonchalantly. “It was nothing. It’s just my job, ya know?”  
        “Well you did a _damn fine_  job. I’d like to see if I could get you transferred my unit, if that’s alright.”  
        “I- wow, really? I mean, of course! _Wow._ ” He held out his hand. “Jace.”  
        “What?”  
        He scratched the back of his neck. “My name. It’s Jace. I only go by ‘Ace’ because, ah, frankly, I hate the name Snake gave me.”  
        Emma snorted. She didn’t even want to know what kind of name Snake had given the poor kid. It’s like they were pulling codenames out of their asses these days. “Well. Jace. I’ll just need to talk some things over with you-know-who and I’ll let you know if we can make that transfer happen or not.”  
        He nodded enthusiastically, ginning all the while.  
        “Thanks, ma’am. I won’t disappoint.” He followed the rest of the unit towards the Command building for the debrief. The helicopter lifted off and Emma was left alone on the platform with Kaz. She steeled herself and bit her lip.  
        “Kaz, I-”  
        “Go home, Emma.”  
        “…What?”  
        _“Go home,”_ he repeated. Emma could feel her eyes burning as tears rose up in them.  
        “What… what do you mean? What about the debrief?”  
        “We’ll get all the information from B Unit’s sub Captain,” he said coldly.  
        “But Kaz…” She tried to ignore the lump rising in her throat. “I’ll tell you everything that happened. _Please_ just let me explain.”  
        “I’ll let you know when you have permission to set foot on Mother Base again.” He turned and began to head back towards the Command building. Emma watched him go, frustration and anger rising inside her, manifesting itself in the form of the harsh yell that rose from her throat.  
        _“ **KAZ!** ”_  
       He ignored her and disappeared inside the building, leaving her by herself on the helicopter pad, the cool ocean breeze playing about her hair and making the loose strands stick to the tears that slid down her cheeks.


	5. Perspective

_June 1984. Cape Town, South Africa_

 

        Emma waited at the end of the private road that led up to the house. The bus would come along any minute. Aunt Barbara thought it would be a great surprise if Emma was the one to pick up Catherine from the bus stop, since she had no idea Emma was in town. Truth be told, Emma was just excited to see her baby again. Five years old and growing up so fast. It had been almost a month since she had last seen her.  
        The bright yellow school bus came into view and rumbled down the road in Emma’s direction before slowing to a stop in front of her, the doors opening with a hiss. Catherine appeared at the top of the steps and squealed with joy when she saw Emma.  
        “Mama!” she said, running down the bus steps, her arms full of little crayon drawings. Emma gave the bus driver a wave and knelt down as Catherine rushed into her arms. Emma held her closely as the bus drove away, never wanting to let go. She was getting so much taller. She held Catherine at arms’ length, her heart absolutely melting when she saw the happy dimples that graced her daughter’s cheeks.  
        “How have you been, Kitty?” Emma said, beaming. Catherine smiled wide, one of her bottom teeth missing. “Oh my goodness! You lost a tooth! How much did the tooth fairy bring you?”  
        “Um…” Catherine’s face scrunched up as she tried to remember, her striking blue eyes as radiant as ever. “One dollar and fifty cents.”  
        Emma gasped playfully. “That’s a lot of money! Will you save it up for something special?”  
        Catherine smiled and shook her head, her auburn curls bouncing. “Uh-uh. I bought nail polish.” She held out her hand and Emma examined her tiny digits, each fingernail painted so carefully with a pastel pink nail polish.  
        “Oh, it looks beautiful, Kitty!” She took Catherine’s hand and stood, heading back up the road towards the house. “Let’s go get you a snack and get you started on that homework.”  
        Catherine skipped alongside her. “Is Daddy home, too?”  
        Emma sighed, trying not to let Catherine see her disappointment or hear the bitterness in her voice. “Not this time, honey. Daddy’s busy. Maybe next time.”  
        “Oh.” Catherine’s voice fell slightly but she didn’t let it upset her for long. She quickly ran up the front steps and pulled the heavy wooden door open with all her little might.  
        “Aunt Barbara!” Catherine called into the house, her voice echoing through the large hall. “Aunt Barbara! Mama’s here!”  
        Aunt Barbara appeared in the foyer, pretending like she hadn't just seen Emma five minutes ago. “Oh my goodness! What do you know! What a surprise!”  
        Catherine giggled and ran into the kitchen, setting her armful of drawings down onto the kitchen table and kicking off her shoes. “Mama, I drew a picture for you to take back to Daddy!”  
        Emma made her way over to the kitchen table, admiring all of the colorful pictures laid out across it. Catherine handed one to Emma, smiling.  
        Emma could tell Catherine had spent a lot of time on it. The colors were beautiful. It featured the lovely spot on the beach down the hill from the house, D-Dog, and a very happy interpretation of Kaz. A big pink smile was plastered on his face. It was a good look for him, actually. Emma smiled.  
        “Why don’t you go grab a magnet, and we can stick it on the fridge until I leave? Then I’ll bring it back with me.”  
        “Okay!” Catherine pulled a magnet from the drawer. “When will you leave, Mama?”  
        “Well, ah… whenever Daddy needs me to go back. But until then, I’m all yours, sweet pea!” Emma picked up Catherine and swung her around, beaming as laughter rose from her chest.  
        “Mama, Aunt Barbara won’t let me see the Gremlins movie because she says it’s too scary.”  
        Emma made a dramatic pouty face. “Bad Aunt Barbara! It sounds to me like she’s too scared of it! I guess that means we’ll just have to go see it by ourselves.”  
        Catherine giggled and her face lit up as an idea came to her head. “Did Maba draw any more pictures for me?”  
        Emma pretended to think about it for a moment. “Hmm… You know what? I think he did! Let’s go check my bag.” Catherine clapped her hands together giddily and raced upstairs ahead of Emma. Emma turned to Aunt Barbara.  
        “How has she been?”  
        Aunt Barbara chuckled. “Oh, you know. The usual. More energy than she knows what do do with.”  
        Emma began to unpack Catherine’s backpack. “And she’s doing well in school?”  
        “Well, she’s been having a tough time with her math. But that’s any first-grader for you. Her teacher has nothing but good things to say about her academic performance, though.”  
        “Has she been making friends?”  
        There was an unintentional pause as Aunt Barbara struggled to give her a good answer, but her silence said everything. Emma’s heart sank. That’s all she really wanted, was for Catherine to have someone to play with. She got so lonely in this big house, all alone with no one to keep her company but Aunt Barbara. Catherine was probably absolutely dying to have someone to show her ever-growing doll collection to, or someone to play with down on the beach.  
        “I think she’s been trying. But she’s very shy.” Aunt Barbara began to start on the dishes, quickly changing the subject. “You know, I think we might actually get some rain tonight.”  
        “Hmmm,” Emma said, somewhat distractedly. She quietly slipped out of the kitchen and headed upstairs. It broke her heart to hear that Catherine was having a hard time making friends. She was such a likable girl. Sweet, caring… a little rowdy at times, sure, but she had a heart of gold that never stopped loving. Emma reached the top of the stairs and stopped just outside the master bedroom door, quietly opening it just enough to see inside.  
        Catherine was sprawled out on the bed, silently admiring the sketches Mabasashe had made for her, with a look of utmost concentration on her face as she studied all of the intricate lines and strokes. Emma’s duffel bag was at the foot of the bed where she had left it, except that all of its contents had been scattered around it in what Emma could only assume was Catherine’s frenzied search for the drawings. The orange glow of the afternoon sun came in through the large windows, illuminating every inch of the room and forming a little glowing halo around Catherine’s head. Emma walked over to the bed and laid down next to Catherine.  
        “What do you think, Kitty? Did Maba make some pretty sketches for you?”  
        Catherine smiled and showed one of them to her mother. “Look, it’s DD!”  
        Emma laughed. “What a _beautiful_ picture.”  
        Mabasashe had always made sure that Emma never visited Catherine without an abundance of his sketches for her. They were simple things… D-Dog, a flag billowing in the wind, two recruits playing Atari… Any time Mabasashe had the time to take out a pen and paper, he was sketching for Catherine. The sketches brought a taste of Diamond Dog life to Catherine’s peaceful little corner of the world. Catherine rarely ever visited Mother Base, and yet she seemed to view it as more of a haven than it really was. A place where Daddy was happy, a place where Mama was doing what she loved. And a place where she had friends. D-Dog, Ocelot, Snake… Emma knew that war-hardened men weren’t the best pals for a five-year-old, but they cared about Catherine just as much as she cared about them.  
        Catherine’s complicated upbringing was mostly her and Kaz’s fault. They had tried their best to give her the most conventional childhood possible under their circumstances. _They really had tried_. But no amount of long-distance phone calls or infrequent visits could change the fact that their jobs demanded most of their time. Catherine understood just fine. It was the only life she ever knew. But on the rare occasion that Kaz was able to visit, his mind was still on work, and a certain sadness overcame him when he realized that he couldn’t even help it.  
        Emma knew he loved his daughter more than life itself, but sometimes it was just so hard for him to show it.  
        She laid wide awake that night, the same thoughts still consuming her as she stared up at the ceiling. Muted flashes of lightning filled the room as a storm rolled in from the sea.  
        She couldn’t help but wonder if he was having second thoughts. Her idroid sat on the bedside table and she half expected it to buzz at any minute. But it had remained quiet all day. No word from Kaz.  
        A sliver of light crept into the room and Emma looked towards the door to see Catherine timidly clutching her stuffed giraffe.  
        “Mama…”  
        “What is it, honey?” Emma said tiredly.  
        Catherine quietly padded across the carpet until she reached the side of the bed. “The thunder…” Another flash lit up the room and she jumped.  
        Emma sighed. She pulled back the covers and patted the mattress. “Just this once. Thunder’s nothing to be afraid of.”  
        Catherine crawled into bed next to Emma, hugging her giraffe tightly as she buried her face into Emma’s shoulder. “Okay, Mama.”  
        Emma gently ran her fingers through Catherine’s curls and closed her eyes. She could be mad at Kaz all she wanted, but maybe she really did need a decent amount of time at home to sort out her priorities. It was only now that she realized just how ridiculous and childish her actions were during the past few days. He didn’t need to explain his decision to send her home; she would have argued anyways. But there was nothing quite like seeing her daughter’s face light up her world again to put things into perspective.  
        Hell, she _had_ started to get a little cocky. Kaz was right. Her behavior set a terrible example for the others, and someone who displayed that kind of behavior wasn’t fit to lead their own unit. She wouldn’t blame him if he hit her with a demotion. She deserved it. As much as she believed she had really helped the cause in Kiziba Camp the previous day, she could have been hindering it just as much.  
        She would be sure to apologize to him when she got back. _Sincerely._ The last thing he needed was her causing more trouble. She could only hope that he’d give her a second chance. Emma kissed Catherine’s forehead gingerly.  
        She wouldn’t fuck it up this time.


	6. Wise Guys Realize

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

        Kaz watched as steam slowly curled upwards from his coffee, his mind on anything other than the reports that sat in front of him. Cutting through the red tape from the last mission was proving to be a nightmare. Nothing had been accomplished during the debrief except the immature pointing of fingers among the soldiers as Kaz tried to get to the bottom of what had _really_ happened. He had taken it upon himself to remove Grey Raven for a few weeks, or at least until things settled down. There had been an alarming amount of animosity towards Raven among the members of B Unit and Kaz had been starting to fear for his safety.  
        And that was another thing. There was a strange ever-growing hostility between B Unit and E Unit that surpassed that of friendly competition. Multiple reports had been coming in almost every day for the past week of fights breaking out between members of both units. B Unit wanted their Captain back and saw E Unit to blame for her suspension, from what Kaz could piece together. E Unit was trying to defend the honor of their Grey Raven. It was ridiculous. And _childish_. Kaz had no doubt that if Emma were here she would somehow get herself involved in it.  
        He regretted being so callous with her. But she was just too damn arrogant to listen to him any other way. She needed some time to cool off and reevaluate her behavior. Besides, Catherine was probably ecstatic to see her again. It had been a week and he hadn’t heard a word from her yet. He could only hope it was working.  
        He brought the mug to his lips just as Ocelot came in the room and hit him lightly on the shoulder with the folder he carried, causing Kaz to spill a decent amount of coffee down the front of his uniform. He clenched his teeth and huffed, trying his absolute best to refrain from saying anything he would regret.  
        “Oh. Sorry,” Ocelot said, taking a seat next to him. Kaz could tell he was fighting the urge to smile, which only made it worse. Kaz opted to ignore his apology and nodded at the folder he held.  
       “What’s this,” he said tiredly.  
        Ocelot opened the file and slid it towards Kaz. “A Mbele general is asking us to silence a few of his captured soldiers.”  
        “How much is he offering?”  
        “He hasn’t gotten back to our liaison with an exact amount yet but from the sound of it, it looks like we really can’t afford to turn this one down.”  
        “That good, huh?”  
        “This guy’s no small-time soldier,” Ocelot said, tapping the file. “We might even need to watch our step around him.”  
        Kaz studied the file. A long history of training child soldiers, known to have been wrapped up in more than a few skirmishes… Ocelot was right. Kaz pushed the file back to Ocelot.  
        “Let me know when we’re ready to move on this.”  
        Ocelot nodded. “Could be a few days.”  
        “That’s fine.”  
        Ocelot stood and pointed at Kaz’s uniform. “Sorry about that,” he said, no longer able to suppress his grin.  
        Kaz sighed and waited for Ocelot to leave before taking off his glasses and beret, running his hand through his hair and taking a moment to rest his eyes. He wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for an eternity. His idroid chirped and he hastily picked it up, speaking into it.  
        “What.”  
        _“Sir, we’ve got another… situation down on the Command deck.”_  
        Kaz grit his teeth. “I’m on my way.”  
        He tossed the idroid back onto the table and held his head in his hand. It never ended. He couldn’t catch a fucking break. The pain was starting to flare up again and he was nowhere near his painkillers.  
        _“Fuck,”_ he hissed, pulling his beret back on. Anyone who decided to cross paths with him at any point for the rest of the day was a dead man walking. "Come on," he said, nodding his head towards the solitary B Unit soldier that stood at stiff attention by the door.  
        He took his crutch from where it leaned against the wall and headed outside, the soldier close in tow. The evening air was warm, and storm clouds slowly glided across the horizon. He could hear yelling coming from below and he made his way down the stairs to investigate.  
        Several recruits were standing around in a group as they watched two men argue, their voices increasing in volume and intensity until everything snapped.  
        “YOU MOTHERFUCKING _BASTARD!”_ One of them lunged at the other, knocking him backwards and pinning him to the ground in a chokehold. The man beneath struggled against his grip, but several swift punches to the face rendered him unable to fight back against the hands that closed around his neck. A cheer went up from the small group of men. Suddenly he brought a knee up to his attackers crotch, using the distraction to roll on top and let loose a barrage of punches to his attackers head, blood staining his knuckles as a primal yell escaped his throat.  
        _“YOU. BACK. THE. FUCK. OFF,”_ he said, enunciating every word with a punch to the other’s throat.  
        Kaz recognized him almost immediately.  
        _**“ASHFORD!”**_ He barked. Jace looked up when he heard his name, scrambling to his feet and bringing his hand to his head in a salute. He wobbled slightly but maintained his posture. “What the ever-loving _FUCK_ is going on here?” There was a groan from the man on the ground and Kaz struck his rear with his crutch. “Get your ass up off the ground. NOW.” He turned back to Jace, looking at him expectantly. Why was it always this kid? _Why?_  
        “Sir. I was confronted by these men -my old unit- about leaving E Unit-”  
        _“You fucking prick!”_ One of the bystanders interrupted.  
        _**“HEY!”**_ Kaz snapped, spinning to face him. _“Watch your fucking language!”_ He turned back to Jace. “Go on.”  
        “They were making threats on the lives of the members of B Unit…” He trailed off and Kaz could sense there was something else.  
        “And…?” Jace looked hesitantly at the E Unit men. “Don’t look at them, look at me. And _what?”_ Kaz growled.   
        “And Captain Ross, sir.”   
        The E Unit soldiers quickly interjected.  
        “That’s not true! That fucking piece of shit is lying through his teeth, Commander!”  
        “He just wants us in the brig!”  
        Jace looked back at Kaz pleadingly. “Why would I lie about something like this, sir?”  
        Kaz pursed his lips. Empty threats were a dime a dozen on Mother Base. Someone was always holding something over someone else’s head. It was only to be expected when men from all walks of life were stuck together on a platform in the middle of the ocean. But considering the recent events… He looked to the B Unit soldier he had in tow, who was already tightening his grip on his gun, closely watching the men surrounding Kaz.  
        Kaz heard the jingling of spurs and turned to see Ocelot and Snake heading towards them, followed by several guards.  
        “Everything under control, Commander?”  
        Kaz sighed. “More or less.” He eyed the other soldiers. “Give them a few days in the brig.”  
        “Right.” Ocelot motioned towards the soldiers and escorted them away, leaving Jace with Snake and Kaz.  
        “What about this one?” Snake said, looking him over. Jace stood up a little straighter.  
        It was hard to say. Physical altercations were punishable by a few days in the brig, but one could argue that he was acting in self-defense. He had really only just gotten back out of the brig a few days ago anyways.  
        “Go to Medical and get yourself looked over. I’d like to hear more about these “threats” when you have the time.” Kaz saw relief wash over Jace’s face.  
        “Yes, sir! _Holy shit-_ I mean… thank you, sir. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”  
        Snake returned Jace’s salute and the young recruit quickly turned and left. Kaz and Snake watched him go.  
        “Threats?” Snake inquired, looking down with curiosity at the bloodstains on the platform.   
        “Well, you know how it is. I never know what to take seriously these days. We can’t give personal attention to all these kinds of incidents. It would take up too much of our time.”  
        “Hmm.”  
        “What?”  
        “Well… You also know how morale’s been. I wouldn’t put it past some of these men to do something they’ll regret.”  
        “You’re saying they would actually act on their threats?”  
        Snake held up his hands. “I’m not saying anything. I just think we should monitor things a little more closely until this all blows over.”  
        _“If_ it does.”  
        “It will.” Snake crossed his arms. “What about Emma?”  
        “What _about_ Emma?”  
        “It’s her unit that’s causing problems. She can help you get to the bottom of this.”  
        It was one thing to have to deal with it on his own, but it was another thing entirely hearing it from Snake. _Goddammit, Em._  
        “She’s not ready to come back yet.”  
        “Kaz…”  
        Kaz sighed and looked out over the open ocean, deep in thought. “She can’t just do whatever the hell she wants, Snake. Her actions affect everyone.”  
        “Out of all the people picking fights on Mother Base, you’re concerned about her?” Snake nodded towards the blood stains on the ground. “She only wants to help. Her intentions-”  
        “Everyone has to face the consequences of their actions regardless of their intentions.”  
        Snake nodded. “True, but why do you think she picked that fight a little while ago? Not simply for the sake of riling up a few men, that’s for sure.” He chuckled as he recounted the memory. “I practically had to pry her off of that recruit. _Jesus christ.”_  
        “There’s nothing funny about it.”  
        Kaz’s words only made him laugh harder. Kaz shook his head and started to head back towards the Command building. “I’m turning in for the night.”  
        “Kaz, wait.” Snake regained his composure as he reached out and put a hand on Kaz’s shoulder. “I’m serious. You’re allowed to go a little easier on her, you know. She’s determined, to say the least. If you start holding her back, that’s when she’s going to start giving you trouble.”  
        That much was probably true. “I know.”  
        “Then you know what to do.”  
        Kaz watched as the sun started to dip below the horizon. “Yeah.”


	7. Fifteen Minutes

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

 

  
   
        Emma waited for the helicopter to touch down before sliding the door open and dropping to the ground. Oh, was it nice to be back on Mother Base again. She looked up to see Kaz waiting for her, and she took a deep breath and smiled as she headed over to him.  
        “Kaz, I just want to say-”  
        “I don’t want to hear any more about it.” His expression was unreadable. The sunlight reflected harshly off his glasses, preventing her from seeing his eyes and reading into any emotion hidden in his words. Emma reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.  
        “From Catherine,” she said quietly, handing it to him.  
        He unfolded it and cocked his head to the side slightly as he looked at the lopsided drawing. His expression softened and the corners of his mouth turned upward.  
        “That smile,” he muttered, chuckling quietly. He folded the drawing and tucked it into his pocket before turning his attention to Emma once more. “How is she?”  
        “She’s fine. She was hoping you’d be there to see her, too.”  
        “Well,” Kaz trailed off, turning back in the direction of his quarters. “We all have to make compromises every now and then. She knows that.”  
        Emma threw her bag over her shoulder and followed him. “Kaz, she’s only five-”  
        “She needs to learn it sooner or later.”  
        Emma bit her lip. There was no point in bickering about something so trivial. “What have I missed?” she said, changing the subject.  
       “There have been a few… _developments_ … since you left. Mostly concerning B Unit.”  
        “What do you mean? Did they do something?”  
        Kaz sighed and Emma knew it was a long story. “They’ve been running into trouble with E Unit. I have no idea what the hell is going on but I was hoping you would be able to get to the bottom of it.”  
        “I’m sorry, Kaz.”  
        “It’s not your fault.” He sighed once more. He was fighting the urge to say something he would regret; she could see it in the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards ever so slightly. “Listen, Em, I’m not going to stand here and waste my time trying to berate you for what happened. As far as you’re concerned, you won’t see any changes in your access or freedoms on base.” He stopped outside the door and looked her directly in the eye. “I’m trusting you on this, Emma. Don’t fuck this up for yourself. _Please._ ” He turned and waved his card in front of the door before heading inside.  
        “I understand.” Emma followed him and threw her bag down onto the floor, falling spread-eagle onto his unmade bed and closing her eyes as she savored the feel of the sheets under her. Kaz hung his coat on the coat hook and set his crutch against the wall.  
        “And another thing,” he said, setting his glasses down on the dresser and rubbing his eyes. “There have been some threats made against you and your unit. I don’t know what to make of them yet, but… for the love of god, please just watch yourself.”  
        Emma’s heart seemed to stop dead still for a moment as she was suddenly reminded of what had transpired that night in the brig, the words the other recruit had said. She sat up and looked at Kaz, trying trying not to show the concern she felt.  
        “Who told you this?”  
        Kaz was too preoccupied to notice, fiddling with his beret absent-mindedly in the mirror.  
        “It’s just word of mouth, Em. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”  
        Emma sighed quietly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and heading to the small closet at the corner of the room.  
        “So I can start my duties with B Unit again?” She said, pulling a set of BDU’s from the shelf.  
        “Yeah. But I want you staying in the bodyguard rotation. No deployments until further notice.”  
        Emma held back a complaint, instead opting to remove her shirt and jeans as she changed into her BDU’s. She reached for her folded pair of trousers but Kaz caught her hand. She turned to see him looking over her with genuine concern.  
        “Em, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while you were gone. If you’re having trouble adjusting to the way things are run here-”  
        “I’m not,” she snapped, suddenly feeling very irritated and very exposed under his gaze.  
        _“-you’re allowed to talk to me about it,”_ he finished with a hint of annoyance. “Jesus christ, Em, I don’t know what other explanations there could be for you acting out like this other than the possibility that maybe _-maybe-_ you’re just trying to reach out to me and I’m not listening.” He took a moment to cool down before continuing. “Listen,” he said, his voice growing softer as he loosened his grip on her wrist. “I’m sorry, kid. I just don’t want you thinking that I’m not listening to what you have to say.”  
        Emma was caught slightly off-guard by his statement. It was an awfully profound thing to say, especially for him. She looked up at him and gently traced her hand along his cheek. “I know you’re listening, Kaz,” she said quietly. “But I wish you’d let me at least put my pants on before we start having any heartfelt conversations.”  
        Kaz smiled. It was a small smile, but it was genuine nonetheless. He looked at his watch and nodded his head back towards the bed. “Look, I’ve got a good fifteen minutes now if there’s anything you need to get off your mind. No pants required.” He chuckled at his own joke and fell back onto the bed with a deep sigh, finally off his feet for the first time that day. He patted the space next to him and Emma obliged, falling back onto the mattress in the same fashion and throwing her arm over his chest.  
        “First question,” she said, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.  
        “Mhm.”  
        “Why is this room in the same state of disarray it was in when I left?”  
        “What? That’s-” A deep laugh shook his chest and Emma couldn’t help but smile. “I was planning on-”  
        “Oh, am I hearing excuses?” Emma’s smile grew. “That’s the only question I have for you.”  
        “That’s it?”  
        “Yep. Those socks are in the same place they were the day I left, I’d bet my life on it. And you’ve only made the bed once or twice.” She nodded her head towards the other side of the bed. “That side’s still got hospital corners, for fuck's sake, and I know for a fact you don’t bother with those.”  
        Kaz held up his hand in mock defense. “Guilty as charged.”  
        Emma laughed and rested her head on his chest, savoring the feeling of his arm around her for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.  
        “Really, Em,” he said quietly, breaking the short silence. “How are things?”  
        Emma held back a sigh. Truth be told, they weren’t good. She could feel herself slowly crumbling under the weight of her responsibilities and pressures, and everything that went wrong only chipped away at her further. “Not bad,” she said, lightly tracing her finger along his lapel. She cursed herself for not using this rare opportunity to actually open up to him, to tell him everything, but there was always something that held her back. “You’re the one I’m concerned about.”  
        “Me?”  
        “Who else?” Emma propped herself up on her elbow. “How’s life treating our Commander these days?”  
        A warm laugh rose from his chest, obviously flustered now that she had turned the question back on him. “Well,” he started, pursing his lips as he thought, “The new B Unit recruit is a good kid. I’m keeping him on the bodyguard rotation for a little while until he gets accustomed to everything.”  
        “Oh?”  
        “Yeah. His name’s Hawk. From Chicago, I think, or at least that’s what he told me. He’s, ah, _very_ talkative.”  
        Emma laughed. “Well I can tell him to pipe down a bit next time.”  
        “No, no. I don’t mind. He’s good company. He was telling me about the train yards there. Grew up right next to one.”  
        “Oh god, don’t tell me you started hounding the poor guy with train talk.”  
        “Not at all. I’m telling you, this kid’s mouth was moving at a million miles an hour. He was doing the talking for the both of us.” Kaz chuckled as he recounted the memory. “Anyways, I’d like you to show him the ropes. I think he’ll be a good addition to the team.”  
        “Sure thing.” They fell into a blissful silence once more, perfectly content with just being in each other’s company. Emma let her eyes wander over him, taking in the sight of him genuinely relaxed for once. He looked younger, the creases between his brows lessened just ever so slightly. She reached over and slid the beret off his head, running her hand through his hair. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes as Emma massaged his temples. “That’s all you’ve got on your mind? Just the new recruit?”  
        “At the moment, anyways.”  
        Emma knew he was holding back, too. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the amounts of pain and stress that were swirling around in his mind right now, threatening to consume him entirely.  
        She leaned over him and planted a soft kiss upon his lips, her wisps of auburn hair brushing his cheeks. She started to pull away but he slid his hand up to the nape of her neck and pulled her back down so her lips met his once more. His kiss was passionate yet gentle, stirring the butterflies in Emma’s stomach that had been still for so long. She sighed into the kiss, letting her weight fall onto him slowly as she was caught up in the euphoric feeling of being so _close_ to him.  
        Suddenly she felt a buzz under her hip and Kaz broke away, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his idroid. Emma begrudgingly lifted herself off of him as he sat up, checking the new alert. He pursed his lips as he read, and his brow began to crease once more.  
        “Gotta go, kiddo,” he said with a sigh. He rose, pulling his beret back on and heading over to where his coat hung. “I’ll see you in an hour for your rotation.” He pulled his coat on and reached for his crutch.  
        Emma was the one to catch his wrist this time, kissing his cheek softly while she had the opportunity. “I’ll see you then.”  
        Kaz started to head out the door. “Stay out of trouble okay? At least for one goddamn hour,” he said over his shoulder. The door closed behind him with a swish and Emma stood there for a moment in silence.  
        They could only pretend things were alright for so long. What happened in the brig haunted her every night and she wanted nothing more than to tell him everything. But what if…  
       She looked around the room, suddenly aware of the fact that it could be wired. She closed her eyes and let the moment of paranoia pass, heading once more to the closet and pulling on her fresh set of BDU’s.  
        Maybe Kaz was right. Maybe she shouldn't be giving her full attention to such minute details. But then again, he often neglected to take such details into consideration when it came to the grand scheme of things. If she didn’t give these situations her attention, who would? That was her job. Kaz’s safety was always her priority, and no amount of his dissuading would change that.  
        She buckled her harness and pulled on her own beret, quickly checking herself in the mirror before heading out, a new fire burning within her.


	8. An Eye for an Eye

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

        Kaz fiddled with the pen on his desk, growing more impatient by the second. He had asked Ashford to report to his office half an hour ago, and yet… the chair in front of his desk remained empty. _What the hell was taking him so long?_  
        He swiftly jammed the pen back into the penholder before leaning back into his chair and closing his eyes. He was in quite a bit of a better mood today and he _did_ have a little more patience than usual, which he supposed he could thank Emma for. But that patience was slowly wearing thin as each minute ticked by. He was just beginning to doze off when there was a knock on the door.  
        Kaz straightened up, adjusting his beret. “Come in.”  
        The door opened and Jace entered, bringing his heels together as he saluted. His hair was disheveled and sweat glistened upon his brow. Shirt partially untucked, zipper undone… _Jesus._ The kid was a mess.  
        “You alright, Ashford?”  
        “Just fine sir.” He said, holding back a smile, still trying to catch his breath. It took every ounce of strength Kaz had not to roll his eyes as he realized the cause for Jace’s tardiness.  
        “Take a seat.”  
        Jace slid into the chair and half-assed apologies began to tumble out of his mouth.  
        “I’m sorry, sir. My bunkmate misplaced my boots and then I-”  
        “You don’t need to lie, Ashford. I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to encourage _or_ discourage whatever it is that you do on your own time. But when it cuts into my time, _that’s_ when you better make sure it doesn’t happen again.”  
        “I… Yes sir.”  
        Kaz looked him over. “I take it you’ve recovered well from the incident last week?”  
        Jace nodded. “Yes, sir. And I meant to thank you. For, ah… hearing me out. Most of the time I just get thrown into the brig, no questions asked.”  
        That much was true. But to be fair, he was _not_ the most obedient of recruits. “Well, if what you say is true, then we would have been in the wrong to lock you up for something you didn’t start.” Jace squirmed in his seat. It was a slight motion, easily missed. But Kaz immediately picked up on it. “Something you’d like to tell me, Ashford?”  
        Jace pursed his lips, mulling his words over before speaking. “Sir, no disrespect intended, but as much as I want to get to the bottom of all this, I don’t want to… sell anyone out either-”  
        Kaz held up his hand. “I’m not about to go poking my nose into anything. That’s why you’re here, actually.”  
        Confusion crossed Jace’s face and Kaz opened the file that sat before him, looking over the papers within it. “These are the official debrief reports from the mission in Kiziba Camp.” Kaz sorted through the papers until he found the right one, bringing it to the top. “Now, the report you gave was probably the most detailed. It also conflicts with over half the other reports. I didn’t think twice about it when you turned it in, but what you said last week made me go back and look it over in a little more detail. So… I’ll ask again.” Kaz peered over his glasses at Jace. “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”  
        “Listen, sir. I talked to a few of the other men in B Unit and I think I might have gotten a few things wrong. I’d like to re-file an updated report. I think I may have gotten a little overzealous with my wording-”  
        Kaz read directly from Jace’s report. “ _‘Captain Marcus, codename: Grey Raven, sought out to botch the mission with the intention of pinning the blame on Captain Ross after her actions landed three E Unit members in the brig two days prior. I personally believe Marcus should be held accountable for his actions in any way executive staff sees fit.’”_ Kaz set the file down and looked directly at Jace. “Am I to believe you were already aware of hostility between B and E Units?”  
        “Well of course, sir. I was in the brig the previous night. That’s when I met Captain Ross. I knew before she even opened her mouth that it was trouble with E Unit.”  
        Kaz furrowed his brow, reaching into the filing cabinet behind his desk and pulling out Emma’s file. “That was just a scuffle, wasn’t it? She got jumpy about something someone said.”  
        Jace leaned forward and pointed to the file Kaz had just taken out. “You don’t have any report of the fight that broke out inside the brig, do you?” Kaz was silent. He didn’t. _How…?_ “That’s because the guards kept it under wraps.”  
        “Why would they do that?” _Was there something Emma hadn’t told him?_  
        Jace sat back in his chair once more, more casually this time. “Eh… bribes, personal interest, you name it. It looks bad in their records if a fight breaks out under their watch. They filed the incident as a disagreement that led to one of the men being transferred to another cell block.”  
        Kaz looked down at the report. That was exactly what it said. “And how do you know this?”  
        “One of my buddies is a guard in the brig. One of the good guys, though. Don’t worry.”  
        “Does he know that these reports are sensitive information and shouldn’t be shared with anyone who will listen?”  
        “He’s one of the good guys,” Jace repeated.  
        Kaz pursed his lips and sighed. “So what happened?”  
        Jace shook his head. “I couldn’t make out very much of what they were saying. It sounded like _she_ was threatening _him_ at first. Then the other guy said something that set her off. She just reached through the bars and wrapped her arms around his neck. Started strangling him.”  
        “Jesus christ.”  
        Jace continued. “The guards came in, pulled them apart and took him away. I think…. I _personally_ think she was trying to silence him.”  
        “Why the hell would she do that?”  
        Jace shrugged. “Whatever he said just hit home for her. That’s how I got the feeling it was a threat. And not one to be taken lightly. I mean… _hell_. She was going to kill a guy over it. There might be something bigger going on here, Commander.”  
        This was all news to Kaz. He hadn’t heard a word about any of this. Not from the guards… _Especially_ not from Emma. Why the hell would she stay quiet about this? If it was a serious matter she would go right to him about it… But still, more likely than anything, the only thing hurt was her pride. She had acted rashly and regretted it. It was only natural. He sighed.  
        “Listen, Ashford. I appreciate your sleuthing. But I’m going to need more evidence before I can seriously entertain this.”  
        “I understand, sir. Captain Ross is a good soldier, and a good person. I’m not going to let her get caught up in something like this.”  
        _You and me both, kid,_ Kaz wanted to say. “I appreciate your concern, Ashford… I’d like to ask a favor of you.”  
        “I’m listening.”  
        “I have a lot of things to worry about on this base and as consequential as these ‘threats’ are, I can’t afford to give them my personal attention. I just don’t have the time. I’m sure you can understand that.”  
        “Yes sir.”  
        “I’d imagine you don’t have a shortage of contacts… Inside and outside of the brig. It would mean a great deal to me if you could report anything that could possibly concern this situation. Directly to me.”  
        “You’re asking me to be a snitch.”  
        Kaz sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. “I’m asking you to assist me, _your Commander_ , in looking out for the best interests of Diamond Dogs. And the people we care about.”  
        Jace narrowed his eyes as he thought it over.  
        “What’s in it for me?”  
        “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”  
        Jace raised an eyebrow and leaned forwards. “It’s just one request.”  
        Kaz was silent for a moment. He shouldn’t even be encouraging this. “What.”  
        “The guard outside Quiet’s cell. He’s a real prick, you know. Treats her like shit. I have a better recommendation.”  
        Of course this would all come down to that… thing. “And who is that...”  
        “Iron Grizzly. He’s currently stationed in the brig.”  
        Kaz thought it over. He owed him a favor, and Jace wanted to waste it on a guard replacement? He found himself once more fighting the urge to roll his eyes.  
        “Fine.”  
        Jace smiled. Kaz already knew that this kid was planning on sneaking into that cell at all hours of the night. Like he said, he wasn’t an idiot. But as long as he wasn’t out causing trouble… Besides, he could become a useful source of information.  
        “Thank you, sir. I won’t disappoint.”  
        “Don’t push your luck. If I catch you fucking around in that cell, _you’re a dead man_.” Kaz nodded towards the door. “You’re dismissed.”  
        “Yes sir.” Jace stood and saluted before slipping back out through the door.  
        Kaz could only hope that the information would be reliable. He still couldn’t see any of this as being more than just a squabble and a few grudges. Nobody had actually made a proven attempt on another life yet, but it would be good to keep an open mind. He wasn’t going to make it his problem unless it crossed any lines.  
        He would work on the guard transfer in the meantime. It was a ridiculous request, but Kaz intended on honoring it. And he would be sure to talk to Emma about all of this later. There had to be a reason she hadn't told him about what had happened. Whether that reason was embarrassment or actual personal danger, knowing why she hadn't said anything would bring him a little more comfort.  
        He gathered the files and put them back in their corresponding cabinets before taking his crutch and heading out the door. Snake would be touching down in Africa within the hour and the mission at hand was not to be taken lightly.


	9. Revelations

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

  
_Several weeks prior._

  
        The rain was coming down in sheets, and Emma immediately regretted her choice to walk all the way back from the combat platform. She thought the chance to stretch her legs and breathe in the fresh air would do her some good after being cooped up all day, but she was already halfway back to Command by the time the rain started falling, and she wanted nothing more than to get out of these wet clothes.  
        She looked at her watch. _03:48_. Kaz was probably already fast asleep, which was unfortunate, because she had been looking forward to telling him about all of the shit she had to go through that day. Training, training, training… Emma brushed a few wet strands of hair out of her face and trudged onwards.  
        When she reached a supply platform she quickly ducked under an overhang, leaning against the wall as she waited for the rain to let up just a little bit. The rain was always peaceful on Mother Base. Granted, it was always _much_ more peaceful when she was under the warm covers of her bed rather than out in the rain itself, but it was still oddly calming. Nothing but the sound of the rain on the deck and the barely audible chatter of a few recruits around the corner. Nothing about their tone caught her attention, but they spoke in fluent Afrikaans, something she rarely heard around Mother Base. She stood still, listening intently to what they were saying.  
        “The Major hasn't said a word,” she heard one of them say. “He was supposed to give us the update on Miller but he still has yet to do so.” Those words immediately caught Emma's full attention. Another spoke up.  
        “Major's unit back in Angola says otherwise. He's still working things out with the suppliers. We can't get antsy.”  
        Emma spoke up from the shadows as they rounded the corner. “Evening, boys.” Her Afrikaans caught them off-guard and they spun to face her. One of them drew a knife and her heart stopped. “Hey… stand down,” she said cautiously, her hand hovering over her holster.  
        “Then who’s gonna say you won’t go running to the Commander?”  
        “Who's the Major?” Emma said, ignoring their threat.  
         The one with the knife swore, turning to the man next to him. "Make this quick and clean. The last thing we need is a hinderance."  
        Suddenly two of the men lunged forward and pinned her arms against the wall. She fought against their combined strength but they held her fast. The man with the knife came forward and pressed the blade to her throat.  
        “The Major sends his regards, Commander,” he said between clenched teeth.  
        Emma lurched forwards, head-butting him and using her leg to push him into one of the others, knocking them off-balance. She used the distraction to wrench her arms free as she kicked the knife from his hand, sending it clattering to the ground several feet away. Before he had time to regain his balance she brought her knee to his face, a loud crack resonating as he fell to the ground, blinded by the pain and howling at the top of his lungs.  
        Emma moved on the next one, aiming to down him with a left hook. She swung her fist and was surprised when he caught it, wrenching it backwards and swinging her towards the ground. Emma cried out as she felt a pop in her arm, and all the breath was knocked from her lungs as she was slammed into the ground. Before she could try to regain her bearings the hard steel toe of his boot met her jaw, and her head was thrown backwards on impact. Blood from her mouth splattered over the ground. She swung her leg around and swept his feet out from under him before pinning him down and letting loose blow after blow to his head until there wasn’t an inch of his face left that wasn’t covered in blood. She finished with a hard strike from her elbow, rendering him unconscious. She quickly spun around, looking for the others. One of them had disappeared, and the one with the broken nose was slowly rising to his feet, blood staining the front of his shirt.  
        “You _BITCH!”_ he spat, lunging at her. She quickly dove out of the way and stumbled to her feet, reaching for her tranq gun-  
        She patted down her harness, looking for it frantically, when suddenly it hit her. She had left it with the rest of her gear…  
        _All the way back on the combat platform._  
        Her momentary distraction was all her attacker needed to charge at her, knocking her off her feet and pinning her down with his weight. His large hands closed around her neck, instantly cutting off her air supply. She struggled frantically against his grip, her vision fading fast as she coughed and sputtered, trying to get even the smallest breath. She managed to free one of her legs and brought it up to his ribs with her remaining strength, a satisfying crack meeting her ears. He sat back on his heels and doubled over, a string of profanities tumbling from his mouth. Upon realizing how vulnerable he had made himself he started to back away, but Emma swung her leg upwards, catching his chin and sending him backwards.  
        That would keep him down for a few minutes.  
        She scanned the area, looking for the third attacker. She spun around just in time to see the barrel of his assault rifle aimed at her, and she made the foolish last-minute decision to try to kick it out of his hands.  
        His finger must have slipped onto the trigger as she did so because it went off, a spray of bullets ricocheting off the sides of the surrounding shipping crates.  
        _Great. She was going to get so much hell for this._  
        She quickly jumped on him, knocking him over and sending the gun skittering across the ground. He took a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back, throwing her against the wet concrete deck. Rainwater splashed into her eyes and she swung her fist blindly, surprised when it met the soft flesh of his throat. He doubled over but held fast to her hair, keeping her on the ground.  
        “You speak a goddamn word, and you’re _dead,_ ” he said between gritted teeth, lifting her head off the pavement and slamming it back down again. “You think we’re the only ones…” He hit her head against the ground again, and again, and again. Emma fought the urge to black out and as a last resort she reached up, jabbing her fingers into his eyes. He let go of her and reeled backwards in pain.  
        She used the opportunity to throw her leg around him and pin his arms down with her knees, taking hold of his hair and bashing his head against the ground in a similar fashion.  
        _“I. DON’T. TAKE. ORDERS. FROM. YOU.”_  
        Each word was accented with his head striking the concrete and she felt an almost animalistic urge come over her as she watched him slip into unconsciousness. She had no intention of stopping, until suddenly a hand caught her wrist from behind and pulled her up off of him.  
        She lashed out in self defense, receiving an cold metal backhand for her troubles. More of her blood spattered onto the concrete, mixing with the rainwater. She looked up at the person that had grabbed her and her heart stopped when she realized who it was.  
        “Snake?” she sputtered. She could feel the circulation slowing in her hand as he gripped her wrist tightly. His eye was cold and tired, and he wore a frown as he looked her over, bruised and bloodstained. It was only now that she realized the extent of what she had just done. “I promise it’s not what it looks like.”  
        He quietly surveyed the scene. Two unconscious recruits, and one writhing on the ground, clutching at his ribs. Snake nodded to the guards he had in tow.  
        “Get them to the infirmary. The other goes in the brig.”  
        “Yes sir.”  
        He turned his attention to Emma. “You too.”  
        Emma felt her stomach drop. “No, no, no. This is all a mistake. You have to understand-”  
        “Can I trust you enough to let me escort you or do I have to walk you all the way there with your hands behind your back?”  
        Emma’s vision was still blurred and she was sure she was going to pass out at any second. But this… just made everything worse. Somehow Snake seemed ten times more threatening than usual. Maybe it was because she was on the receiving end of that icy stare this time. She sighed.  
        “You can trust me, sir.”  
        He let go of her wrist hesitantly and she followed him back towards the command building, her head hung in shame. What would Kaz say? Even if she did tell him what they had said, would he have any accuse them of anything? He would take everything she said with a grain of salt from now on; she could have handled the situation differently.  
        She looked back at the others. The one with the broken ribs was being led away while the other two lay still on the ground.  
        Her actions were justified… Right? They deserved what they had coming to them. Whether they meant what they said or not…  
        When they reached the brig Emma followed Snake down the steps, feeling like she might as well have been descending into the fiery depths of hell itself. She didn’t belong here. She had never even set foot in here before, and suddenly she was one in the same with the other incendiaries and prisoners. Snake passed her off to the cell block guard without a word, and she was led into a cell near the back corner.  
        The door was closed behind her and she watched Snake leave, feeling like her only hope for getting out of here was leaving with him.  
        So… She would wait.  
        She sat down on the cool hard floor, glancing around at the other recruits. Most of them were asleep, although some of them watched her, their stares burning a hole in her skull. She closed her eyes, as if doing so would make her disappear.

 

  
        Emma woke up to a clanking in the cell to her left. She looked over to see that the man from earlier that night… the one with the broken ribs… had been thrown in next to her. He watched her, tapping on the bars between them, a sickening smile plastered across his face. Emma slowly rose, speaking in a deadly whisper.  
        “When I tell the Commander-”  
        “You won’t,” he hissed, his smile growing.  
        “Oh, _you can bet your ass_ I will.” Emma’s raised voice caught the attention of the other recruits, and those who were sleeping began to stir.  
        The recruit lowered his voice even further. “You breathe a single word, and you might just find a bullet through the Commander’s head… maybe that pretty little daughter of his, too… and the gun in your own hand.” He noticed Emma’s horrified expression and his smile grew. “You won't breathe a word.”  
        Emma moved faster than lightning, reaching through the bars and wrapping her arm around his neck, pulling him back against the bars as hard as she could, putting every ounce of her strength into it as she heard him struggling to breathe.  
         Suddenly it was complete pandemonium among the other recruits. It was hard to tell who they were rooting for amongst all the yelling and clanging. They had probably grown so bored that even the smallest of disagreements was seen as something to make a scene about.  
        The door flew open and the guards stormed in, hitting their batons against the bars to quiet the recruits. They saw the source of the commotion and made a beeline for Emma. She pulled harder, hoping to finish the job before they could get to her. She felt the recruit go limp in her arms just as the guard pried her off of him, smacking his rifle’s butt across her face and sending her to the floor. She felt the cut on her lip reopen as the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. She looked back at the recruit, who was lying motionless on the floor of his cell. One of the guards knelt, feeling for his pulse.  
        “He’s fine,” he said, throwing the recruit’s arm over his shoulder. “Write him up as a cell block transfer. I’m taking him to F.” He dragged the recruit from the cell and through the door. The other guard looked down upon Emma menacingly.  
        “Behave,” he said, exiting her cell and closing the door behind him. Emma rested her head back against the floor again, fear clutching at her heart. This… was _much_ bigger than she had originally thought. It was one thing to threaten Kaz. But to threaten Catherine? That was another thing entirely. She closed her eyes, but this time sleep didn’t claim her. This was something Kaz needed to know about. But what if that recruit was right? What if they had ways of knowing if she said something? She had no idea what she was dealing with.  
        A long whistle came from the cell next to her, and she looked over to see a young raven-haired man, probably no younger than her, watching her with curiosity. He was much more well-groomed than the majority of the recruits in the brig, and he had an air about him like he owned the place.  
        “That… was _great_ ,” he said, giving her the finger guns. “I don’t know how much lunch money he had on him, but I’m sure he probably gave you _all_ of it.”  
        Emma rolled her eyes. The amount of disrespect was appalling. But she had dealt with enough insubordinance for one night, and opted to ignore him. He continued anyways.  
        “I’ll try to make sure I don’t get on your bad side.”  
        “You’re already getting on my bad side.”  
        He laughed, and she instantly regretted responding. Now he was only going to be encouraged to talk more. And he did.  
        “The name’s Ace.”  
        “Hm.”  
         He leaned against the bars between their cells. “I believe the customary thing to do is to say your name next.”  
        Emma sat up, hoping he would be able to read the annoyance on her face. “Are you new here, Ace?”  
        “It depends on your definition of ‘new’.”  
        “You’re telling me you have no idea who I am.”  
        He thought for a minute before his face lit up. “Molly Ringwald! In… _disguise…_?”  
        Emma laid back down on the floor and closed her eyes, the cool concrete soothing her aching joints. She wanted to get out of here more than anything. But right now she could settle with this guy shutting up for a few hours.  
        He didn’t take the hint. “Seriously. I have no idea.”  
        “Emma.”  
        He was silent for a few moments. “Yeah, still not ringing any bells.”  
        It was almost comical. She was with the lowest of the low. The very ass-end of Mother Base. No offense to this kid…  
        “Listen,” she said. “I’m not really in the mood to talk. Could you just… I don’t know, go to sleep or something?”  
        He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Goodnight, Ringwald.” He went back into the opposite corner and leaned against the wall, sliding down slowly until he too was sitting in the floor.  
        Emma closed her eyes again, the pain flaring up in her jaw. She doubted she would ever actually sleep, but she needed the silence to think.  
        She would keep quiet about it for now. She wasn’t incapable of getting to the bottom of these kinds of things on her own, anyways. If she told someone what she heard, she ran the risk of something happening to the two people she cared about most. And that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.  
        Sure, she would keep quiet. _For now._


	10. To Make Matters Worse

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

_Present day._

 

        Kaz watched with a certain curiosity as the children slowly shuffled across the platform, eventually disappearing around the corner. He hated the idea of having them on Mother Base. Not only were they bound to get underfoot, but after what had happened to the old base… He didn’t want the blood of children on his hands. He had already done enough harm to the next generation and the world they would grow up in.  
        As much as he despised the idea, however, their reintegration was essential to both the success of Snake’s vision and their own futures. If these child soldiers could be helped, then who was to say the others couldn't be as well? He shook his head to himself slightly, fully aware that he couldn’t entertain such wishful thinking.  
        He exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to clear the thought from his head. There were other things on his mind, things that he had been trying to make sense of ever since he had sat down with Ashford. The more he dug to find out what had really happened that night, the more confused he became. The picture wasn’t as clear as it was before; an uneasy feeling had been tugging lightly at his attention all day, rendering him unable to give any matter his full scrutiny. He knew he had to put his mind at ease.  
        Kaz slid into the seat of the idle jeep, clearing his throat to catch the attention of the driver before nodding in the direction of the platform adjacent to them. “Combat.”  
        “Yes, sir,” the driver said, shifting the jeep into gear and setting off in the direction of the Combat platform.  
        Kaz breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, letting the salty ocean air fill his lungs as he tried his best to make heads or tails of the scattered thoughts that were racing through his mind at a million miles an hour. He was confident it was nothing worth worrying about, but he knew he would never get a decent night’s sleep until he had gotten a straight answer.  
        The late afternoon sun beat down on him and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he sweat profusely under his layers of clothes. The weather was uncharacteristically warm for this time of year and he could feel every change in degree. He pursed his lips and wiped the sweat from his brow, looking out over the water as they approached the platform. The driver pulled the jeep around the front of the main building and Kaz stepped out, steadying himself with his crutch.  
        “Left, left, _LEFT!”_ The sound of Ocelot’s voice rang out across the platform, his frustration apparent in the way his barked orders went pinging off the sides of the steel structures for all of Mother Base to hear. “Go again, Captain. You’re not stopping until you get it right.”  
        Kaz made his way in the direction Ocelot’s voice had come from. B Unit had been overdue for a decent handgun training session for quite some time now after earning lackluster marks on their target practice reports for the past few months. He knew how much they were capable of, but they had been falling short of his expectations as of late, Emma included.  
        Several shots rang out before Ocelot’s voice broke through the air once more.  
        _“NO! Wrong!_ Do you see how your left is completely unguarded? Again.”  
        Kaz rounded the corner as Ocelot began to reset the targets. He couldn’t make out Emma’s expression from where he stood but her body language said enough. With a slight stomp of her boot she took her place at the beginning of the course once more, gripping the handgun tightly. The rest of B Unit stood behind the line, leaning against the walls or slouched over on the ground, fiddling with their bootlaces or harnesses out of sheer boredom. The subtle glow of a cigarette caught his eye and he turned to see Ashford leaning over a crate, lazily resting his chin on his hand as smoke curled upwards from his cigarette.  
        _“ASHFORD!”_ Kaz barked. The whole of B Unit jumped to their feet at the sound of Kaz’s voice and Jace quickly tossed the cigarette to the ground as if Kaz wouldn’t notice, grinding it into the concrete with the toe of his boot. He pinched his lips together as tightly as he could, but it did him no good as he choked out the last of the smoke he had just inhaled.  
        “Sir,” he spluttered, saluting. He coughed quietly, trying to stay at attention.  
        “If I catch you with a goddamn cigarette one more time, you can kiss your next deployment goodbye. Being in this unit is a privilege and I can take it away at any time.” Kaz tucked his crutch under his arm and held out his hand.  
        Jace sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a battered pack of cigarettes and placing it in Kaz’s hand with a look on his face as if he were giving away his first-born child. “Yes, sir,” he said quietly.  
        Kaz slid the pack into his own pocket and turned his attention back towards Emma with a small smile. She frowned slightly and Kaz realized a little too late that his presence was only putting more pressure on her. She sighed and turned back to the targets, readying her gun with shaking hands.  
        “Whenever you’re ready,” Ocelot called.  
        Emma took a deep breath and stepped forward, snapping her gun upwards and quickly taking down the first two targets. Another two popped up on either side of her and she took the first one out before turning to the other, just a fraction of a second too slow.  
        _“NO!”_ Ocelot’s shout rang out with such intensity that it even gave Kaz a start. Emma lowered her gun and looked down at her boots. Ocelot made his way towards her in a huff, his spurs jingling. _“Ayae!”_ he snapped over his shoulder. Kaz rolled his eyes as Sylf jumped to her feet, following Ocelot over to where Emma stood. Emma grit her teeth as Ocelot yanked the gun from her grasp, passing it to Sylf. “Watch.”  
        He gave Sylf a nod and she was off in a flash, emptying the remaining eight rounds into the targets quickly and efficiently, barely breaking a sweat. Emma’s shoulders fell as Sylf gave the handgun a small twirl, holding it back out to the defeated Captain. Emma ignored the gesture and turned away with a shake of her head, pushing past Ocelot.  
        “And just where do you think you’re going? We are _not_ done here.”  
        Emma ignored him and gathered up her gear, throwing it over her shoulder and heading over to where Kaz stood. Ocelot shook his head tiredly and motioned for the next soldier to step up, intent on making sure every last one of them was up to par.  
        Emma kept her eyes on the ground as she approached Kaz, shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.  
        He tried to summon the gentlest tone he could. “Emma-”  
        “Don’t ask,” she snapped, moving past him and heading back in the direction of the Command platform. She was on the ragged edge. He watched her for a moment, sighing quietly before calling after her.  
        “You’re going to walk all the way back?”  
        “Yep.”  
        He took another glance back at the other recruits before following her. “Well then… Would you mind waiting up?”  
        She stopped and turned to him with an eyebrow raised, a small hint of amusement showing through her unimpressed expression. “You. Walking all the way back to Command. _With me.”_ She looked him over for a moment before a small smile appeared on her face. She continued with a theatrical flair. “My, my, but the others will talk.”  
        Kaz smiled and caught up with her, trying to choose his words wisely before he let them fall out of his mouth; Emma’s current mood was a little more precarious than he had planned on it being.  
        “Em…”  
        “Hmm?” She was looking out over the water absent-mindedly, watching as the sun threw its dying orange rays over the horizon, bathing the platforms in its warm setting glow. Kaz pursed his lips.  
        “There was something I wanted to discuss with you.”  
        He could almost feel the change in the atmosphere as her heart rate increased and she held her breath just a millisecond longer than normal.  
        “What is it?”  
        “That night a few weeks ago, in the brig…”  
        She huffed and readjusted her grip on her bag, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. “What about it?”  
        Kaz could already sense himself treading on thin ice. He continued with added caution. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”  
        “What do you mean?”  
        “I mean… Did anything else happen?”  
      _“Like…?”_  
        Kaz began to grow frustrated. He wasn’t really in the mood for guessing games. Not when it came to matters such as this. “What I’m asking is,” he began, a little more sternly than before, “Did anything happen while you were in the brig? A disagreement, maybe?”  
        She looked over at him, her brow knit in confusion. “No… Why?”  
        Kaz bit the inside of his cheek, struggling not to lose the last shred of his quickly-unraveling patience. “Are you sure?”  
        “Yes, I’m sure. I was _there,_ Kaz.” She stopped and looked at him with an expression of curiosity and concern. Kaz could have sworn that he saw a glint of fear in her eyes, but it was gone just as soon as it had appeared. “Why do you ask?”  
        Kaz nodded his head back in the direction of the Combat platform and she picked up her pace once more. Why would she lie to him? He tried to push the thought from his head for the time being, focusing instead on forcing a smile.  
        “Just curious.”  
        She eyed him suspiciously. “You’re never ‘just curious’, Kaz.”  
        “I’m sure you can understand my concern.”  
        She narrowed her eyes before turning her attention to her watch, fiddling with it for a moment before looking back out over the ocean once more.  
    _“Emma.”_  
        She didn’t respond this time, but her grip tightened on the strap of her flight bag. It was a subtle gesture, but it didn’t go unnoticed. Kaz continued quietly.  
        “Is there anything you want to tell me?”  
        With a silent shake of her head Emma expressed her desire to end the conversation right then and there, and Kaz had no choice but to comply. He wouldn’t be getting anything out of her any time soon. It made him cringe to have to put Diamond Dogs business on the back-burners for a few moments, but something about her uncharacteristic silences and the way she would sit in a daze during briefings had been somewhat of a cause of worry for the past few weeks. Something was eating at her, and Kaz intended to find out what it was.  
        He looked over at her, her auburn hair catching the orange rays of the setting sun and her slight pout leaving her somewhat unintentionally alluring despite her obvious sour mood. Her free hand trailed along at her side and Kaz wanted nothing more than to reach out and take it with the fingers he no longer possessed.  
        She felt his stare burning into her and she looked up. Kaz found himself caught off-guard by the way her eyes almost seemed to plead for help, as if she were drowning somewhere deep down within her dark irises. But before he could say anything the look was gone and she flashed him a half-hearted smile, nudging him gently with her shoulder as they walked.  
        _“Captain!”_  
        Kaz and Emma spun to see a figure running towards them, wisps of ashy blonde hair hanging loose from her ponytail. Kaz’s lip formed into a subtle snarl. _Sylf._    
        Sylf gradually approached them at a brisk jog, slowing to a walk as she caught her breath. She reached for her holster and Kaz's heart skipped a beat as he instinctively took hold of Emma’s arm, pulling her back towards him. Sylf eyed Kaz suspiciously and slowly withdrew Emma’s handgun, holding it out to her.  
        “You forgot this,” she said quietly, her icy blue eyes flashing with a look Kaz couldn’t quite put his finger on. Kaz snatched the gun from her and passed it to Emma, never taking his eyes off of Sylf.  
        Emma turned the gun over in her hands, smiling. “Thank you. It would be a shame if I lost this.”  
        _A shame?_ Kaz felt anger well up inside of him. He frowned and cleared his throat.  
        “Oh.” Sylf faced Kaz and snapped to attention, bringing her hand up in a firm salute. “Sir.”  
        Emma slid the gun back into her holster, motioning to Sylf. “I didn’t know you were so good with a handgun. Ocelot must be training you well.”  
        The smallest hint of a smile tugged at Sylf’s lips and her cheeks glowed. She gestured to Emma’s holster.  
        “Well… That’s a fantastic gun. It’s custom, isn’t it? It’s got some deviations from the standard model.”  
        Emma raised an eyebrow and prodded Kaz. “Good eye. It was a gift from the Commander.”  
        Kaz remained silent, carefully watching Sylf’s every move from behind his dark lenses. Sylf shoved her hands into her pockets, fidgeting slightly under Kaz’s burning stare. She nodded her head back towards the Combat platform.  
        “I’d better get back, Captain.”  
        “‘Emma’ is fine.”  
        With another small smile Sylf saluted them once again before turning on her heel and heading back in the direction from which she had come. Emma started to leave but Kaz remained firmly rooted where he stood, watching Sylf leave and stewing in his overwhelming anger and suspicion. He felt a tug on his coat and he finally tore his eyes away, turning to see Emma nodding her head back in the direction of his quarters.  
        “Got any more business to attend to tonight, or are you ready to turn in?”  
        Kaz’s mind wandered from his distrust for Ocelot’s pet project to the mounds of paperwork waiting for him back in his office. He sighed.  
        “I suppose I could finish those reports tomorrow morning…” he said, somewhat distractedly.  
        Emma smiled and shifted the wight of her bag to her other shoulder. “Then what are we waiting for?” She started to head off towards his quarters ahead of him, leaving him alone with the thoughts and concerns racing through his mind. Kaz watched her go with a smile before frowning once more.  
        Why was she lying? And more importantly, why did she feel the need to hide information from him? Out of all the people on Mother Base he alone was the only one she entrusted sensitive information to. His mind wandered back to his conversation with Jace. What if _he_ was lying? It wouldn’t be unlike him to stir up trouble. Especially when he was the only one who gave a conflicting report. It was his word against the rest of B and E Unit.  
        Kaz massaged his temple before starting back in the direction of his quarters. He had hoped things would have been cleared up with a straight answer from her. But her lack of such had done nothing but made him more concerned.  
        Nonetheless, he couldn't afford to waste his time worrying about something that could turn out to be nothing at all. There was the matter of the child soldiers and the growing strength of the PFs to worry about, something that could jeopardize Snake and everything they had all been working tirelessly to achieve.  
        He slid his access card in front of the door and slowly made his way inside. The sound of the shower running and Emma’s singing met his ears and steam curled upwards from under the bathroom door. He shrugged off his coat and fell back onto the bed with a sigh, twinges of pain aready spidering up his arm - or what was left of it.  
        It was all too overwhelming. Everything was happening all at once, and too fast. Everyone was looking to him for a leader to pull them through it all but he was just as lost as they were. The Diamond Dogs needed a good Commander, Snake needed his old friend, Emma needed the man she had looked up to in Rhodesia, and Catherine needed a father who actually gave a damn. He couldn't be everything all at once. He had to pick and choose. It killed him to do so but there was no other way. The stress would kill him, he was sure of it.  
        He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, vivid colors dancing before him under his eyelids as his eyes thanked him for the much-needed break. He would figure it out eventually. Even if it killed him. He would die giving pieces of himself to everyone until they were satisfied. That was all he was good for anymore, wasn’t it?  
        He rubbed his eyes. Everything would come together, all in good time. But until then he would work himself to the bone. He would figure out whatever the hell was going on with Emma and E Unit in good time. She could handle herself until then; Kaz’s priority was Snake and making sure his missions were running smoothly. Tomorrow he would put his nose to the grindstone and try to get everything ironed out.  
        But tonight he just needed a _goddamn break._


	11. Tracks

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

 

 

        Emma slowly opened her eyes, looking up at the analog clock beside the bed. The glowing red numbers cut through the darkness. _3:37_. She was starting to wonder what had woken her at such an odd hour but her question was soon answered as Kaz’s iDroid vibrated on the dresser with a sound as grating as nails on a chalkboard. She grit her teeth and waited for the buzzing to stop, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep again. Almost as if the iDroid had read her mind, the buzzing stopped and blissful silence enveloped the room once more. Emma sighed contently.  
        It began to buzz again.  
        Kaz threw back the covers in a huff and Emma cringed as the cold air hit her legs. The screen’s blue glow lit up the room and Emma turned over to face him, pulling the covers back up to her chin and scowling.  
        “Sorry,” Kaz muttered groggily, squinting at the screen before him and silently mouthing the words as he read them. “I need to take this.” He slid out of bed, stumbling in his sleep-deprived state to the other end of the room and speaking into the iDroid. “Can’t this wait?” he snapped, trying to keep his voice quiet. Emma rolled her eyes and pulled the covers over her head, unable to block out the sound of Kaz’s griping. A chipper female voice buzzed through the iDroid in response.  
        _“Oh, **so** sorry to wake you, Commander,”_ the voice said, oozing with sarcasm. Emma instantly recognized the voice as Marilyn’s. _“We’ve just received a report from the field. It’s been marked urgent.”_  
        “So?” Kaz grumbled impatiently. “What the hell is it?”  
        _“We’ve picked up new intel on our agent’s location. We have a source who spotted him several kilometers west of Ditadi-”_  
        “Hold on.” Kaz set the iDroid down on the dresser and began to pull on his trousers. “Emma, get dressed,” he hissed. “Send an alert to your unit. I want them ready to deploy within the hour.”  
          _Deployment?_ That was a rarity for B Unit. Emma groaned loudly and slid out of bed, reaching for her clothes. Her eyelids were still half-closed, heavy with the desire to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.  
        “Want to let me know what’s going on?” She said, trying to find matching socks.  
        “I’ll tell you on the way.” Kaz reached for his iDroid. “You still there, Monroe?”  
        _“Yes, sir.”_  
        “Captain Ross and I will meet you in briefing room 204 in twenty minutes. I want every scrap of intel you have.”  
        _“I’ll be there.”_  
        Kaz tossed his iDroid back onto the dresser and reached for his coat, scowling when he saw Emma still struggling with her socks. “Jesus christ, Em. Could you go any slower?”  
        “For the love of-”  
        “Watch your tone,” he warned.  
        Emma huffed and hastily tucked her shirt into her pants, trying her best to hold her tongue. It was too damn early for any of this. She reached for her boots and pulled them on as quickly as she could, cringing as her socks bunched up between her foot and the inside of the boot. She scooped her iDroid up from the bedside table and headed for the door, tossing a glare in Kaz’s direction before heading out.  
        It was a struggle for her to keep her eyes open during the expedited briefing. The only thing that kept her awake was her curiosity. According to Marilyn, another intel team member had gone missing several weeks ago, although this was the first Emma was hearing of it. They had lost contact with him somewhere deep in Rogue Coyote’s area of operations… _Vanished_. Without a trace. It was only several hours ago that another intel team had come across prisoner transport records, one of which pertained to the missing soldier.  
        “We have reason to believe he’s being held somewhere over here,” Marilyn said, placing her finger on the southwestern corner of the map that lay before them.  
        “How much ‘reason’ are we talking here?” Kaz asked warily.  
        Marilyn pursed her lips and nervously tucked a dark curl behind her ear. “We’ve narrowed it down to about… a 70-percent chance probability.”  
        Kaz cursed under his breath and turned away from the table, pulling his iDroid from his pocket. Emma slid the map closer to her. The region wasn’t one she was familiar with, much less the people they were dealing with. B Unit had only had a few run-ins with Rogue Coyote, and even on those occasions it was nothing major. She shook her head slightly.  
        “I don’t like this,” she said quietly. She looked up at Marilyn, searching her large green eyes for the answer she knew she wouldn't like. “What kind of intel is he carrying?”  
        Marilyn fidgeted slightly, looking over her shoulder at Kaz before lowering her voice and leaning over the map next to Emma.  
        “Troop movements, blueprints… orders straight from Command.” There was a tinge of worry in her voice that she was trying so desperately to hide. She sighed. “Hyena’s one of our best. He would never talk…” She was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince anyone else.  
        Emma placed a hand on her shoulder. “I know. We’ll get him back.”  
        Marilyn nodded slowly, her eyes trained on the map. They both knew the odds.  
        Kaz cleared his throat. “Captain.” He motioned her over with a tilt of his head, waiting until she was close before beginning to speak. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how detrimental this could be to our operations if we fail.” Emma grit her teeth. As if her recent oversights _hadn’t_ been the cause of her sleepless nights and constant stress; she didn’t need reminding, especially from him. Kaz continued. “Snake is occupied with another mission, and getting this done right is a priority. I'm _only_ trusting you and B Unit with it because Snake's not available, so don't get too cozy with the idea of deployments. Can you handle that?”  
        “Yes sir.”  
        He squinted his eyes slightly, exhaling slowly and lowering his voice. “Just try to get everyone back in one piece, okay?”  
        She looked up at him, shocked by his bluntness. His eyes were tired, his hair still slightly askew; he wasn’t any more awake than she was. Although she knew he didn’t mean for his words to come out so callously, they still didn’t sit right with her. “Well I can certainly _try_ ,” she scoffed, heading back to the table and stuffing the map into her pocket.  
        “Emma-”  
        She ignored him, turning to Marilyn instead. “Marilyn, can you get on comms for this?”  
        “Of course.”  
        “Good. I’m heading out.” Emma threw her bag over her shoulder and headed towards the door, pushing it open with a little more force than was necessary and heading out onto the platform. Kaz was right on her heels and she quickened her pace as she crossed the platform towards the waiting chopper, hoping to avoid confrontation.  
        _“Emmaline.”_  
        Emma froze and clenched her jaw. She slowly turned to face Kaz, trying to keep her expression void of any emotion. She could see the look of concern on his face, something that admittedly caught her off-guard.  
        “What’s going on?” The genuine worry in his voice made Emma want to tell him everything. She fought to remain silent, watching out of the corners of her eyes as other soldiers milled about around her, going about their morning duties. Any one of them could be listening at any time. Any one of them could be just waiting to pull the trigger on Kaz if she breathed a word.  
        “Nothing,” she said quietly, instantly regretting her choice in response. He didn’t buy it, nor did she actually expect him to. Kaz slowly made his way over to her, watching her expression carefully.  
        “What are you hiding?” It was the same question she had heard him ask prisoners at least a thousand times in the interrogation room, a question that was often accompanied by a sharp blow to the jaw or an electric shock. And yet his intonation was different this time, his voice softer and wrought with consternation that she hadn’t heard in, well, a _long_ time. It was taking all of her willpower not to tell him everything right then and there.  
        “I’m just worried,” she said cautiously.  
        “About the mission?”  
        She paused for a moment. It would do for now. “Mhm.”  
        He looked her over. She could feel the beads of sweat forming on her brow and she prayed he wouldn’t notice. “That’s not like you, Em. You've wanted a deployment for as long as I can remember.” His voice was laden with doubt, but she knew he would believe her explanation for a little while at least. She remained silent, waiting for him to turn and leave so she could escape his burning stare. Instead he reached out towards her, gently placing his hand at the nape of her neck.  
        “But we’ll talk about this when you get back. You’ll be fine.” He brought his lips to her forehead and Emma was ashamed to find that she was fighting back tears. She mustered her strongest smile and nodded.  
        “Alright.” She pulled away and slung her flight bag over her shoulder once more, heading to the chopper where the rest of the unit was waiting. She didn’t give a damn about the mission. The gravity of the situation lay not in the mission itself, but rather her absence from Mother Base because of it. Anything could happen while she was gone.  
        She climbed into the chopper as the pilot started up the rotors. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see B Unit’s new recruit watching her with a look of concern.  
        “Everything alright, Captain?” Hawk said, his sparkling blue eyes piercing hers. He had barely seen any real combat, and the fear in his eyes was apparent no matter how much he tried to hide it. Emma smiled comfortingly.  
        “Everything’s fine, Hawk. We’ll be in and out of there in no time.” She held onto the overhead bar as the helicopter lifted off, Mother Base growing smaller below. She watched Kaz until he disappeared from her line of sight, hoping that everything would be alright when she came back.  
        The rest of the unit opted to catch up on sleep during the long flight, some of them leaning their heads against each other’s shoulders for support, the sound of quiet snores filling the helicopter. Emma, however, was wide awake. She gripped her iDroid with white knuckles, praying for a call from Command letting her know the situation had been resolved, summoning her unit back to base. But no such call came.  
        “Arriving at LZ in 10 minutes, Captain,” the pilot called back, his voice cutting through the silence and causing a few sleeping soldiers to stir. They began to shake and nudge each other awake, pulling on their balaclavas and readying their weapons. They fumbled with their harnesses and clips in their semi-awake state, eventually getting re-situated in their seats. Emma stood, shrugging on her own harness.  
        “You have all had ample time to look over the mission information on your iDroids,” she said, fastening her harness and checking her packs. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jace discreetly pull his iDroid from his belt, quickly thumbing through the mission information. “Right, Ashford?”  
        He looked up and quickly fastened it to his belt once more. “Yes, ma’am.”  
        She raised an eyebrow. “Good. We’re dropping relatively close to the target’s predicted location, so I want you staying on the LZ unless I say otherwise, sniper.”  
        “But-”  
        “Hawk and Turk, I want you staying close to me. Red, take the rest of the unit on a southern flank and await my instruction.”  
        There was a small chorus of “yes ma’am’s" as magazines were loaded into weapons and cartridges were checked. Emma pulled on her own balaclava, switching on the comms.  
        “Command, this is Captain Ross. B Unit is ready to drop.”  
        There was a short pause, then Kaz’s voice crackled though the frequency. _“Go ahead.”_  
        Emma pulled open the door just in time to see a flash from the ground and a burst of smoke as a missile rocketed towards the helicopter.  
        _“EVASIVE MANEUVERS!”_  
        In the split-second she had to react she reached for the overhead bar. The helicopter veered to the side, unloaded cartridges sliding across the floor and out the side of the helicopter, hurtling towards the ground below. She held tight to the bar with all her strength, the missile barely missing the hull. The helicopter righted itself once more and she quickly pushed her way up front to the cockpit, checking everyone’s harnesses along the way.  
        “Set us down in that clearing. _NOW._ ”  
        “I’m trying, Captain.”  
        She looked back to see Jace unfastening his safety harness, bringing his rifle’s scope to his eye as he aimed towards the ground.  
        “ _ **ASHFORD! GET BACK IN YOUR SEAT!”**_ She barked. He jumped at the intensity of her order, quickly sliding back into his seat and refastening his restraints.  
        The helicopter began to descend, not as fast as Emma would have liked. Kaz’s voice came through her earpiece, his urgency apparent in his voice despite the static.  
        _“What’s going on? Are you over the LZ? Emma, can you-”_  
        “Come on, _come on_ ,” she whispered under her breath, as if doing so would make the helicopter go faster. Bullets began to ping off the sides and the rotor began to make a frightening grinding noise. “That’s it.” She pushed her way back to the door again, looking down at the ground below. It was a high jump, but they could make it. “Everybody out! Go, go go!” B Unit quickly filed out of the chopper as smoke began to fill the hull. Emma turned back to the pilot. “Get yourself out of here!” She jumped from the helicopter, hitting the ground and rolling. Pain spidered through her legs from the impact, but she got up, motioning for her unit to head towards the cover of the rocks ahead.  
        She turned to see the the helicopter rise into the air behind her. The pilot gave her a thumbs up, turning the helicopter around. A frightening amount of smoke was pouring out of it. Suddenly the felt the air leave her lungs as another missile hit it, a fiery explosion heating the air around her. Shrapnel rained down. The helicopter went into a flat spin, fire consuming its hull. Suddenly it began to spin in her direction, heading towards the ground.  
        “RUN! GO!” She turned back towards the others and ran, waving for them to pick up their pace. She didn’t dare look behind her, but she could hear the grating of metal as the rotors malfunctioned. Kaz’s yelling in her ear became incoherent as she focused on one thing: getting to cover.  
        There was a split second of silence before the helicopter hit the ground, the force of the impact threatening to throw Emma to the dirt. She ran onwards as fast as her legs could carry her, diving behind cover just as the fuel reserves ignited. The explosion was massive and Emma’s ears began to ring as plumes of thick black smoke rose into the air. The gunfire had stopped, but she knew they weren’t out of danger yet. She looked back at the flaming wreckage. There was no way the pilot could have made it.  
        “Captain!”  
        Hawk ran over to her, reaching for his medical supply pack. She pushed his hand away and slowly rose to her feet, her legs shaking.  
        “Save it, Hawk.” She tapped her earpiece, Kaz’s voice coming clearly through the frequency once more.  
        _“Emma, what the **hell** is going on?”_  
        “We’re on the ground,” she panted, out of breath. “The chopper is down. Pilot with it. We’re going to need-” She paused for a moment to catch her breath. “We’re going to need another evac when we’re done here.”  
        _“And your unit?”_  
        She looked back towards the tall grass, quickly doing a head count. “All accounted for.” _Thank god._  
        There was a rush of static as Kaz sighed.  
        _“I’ll have to reroute another. It’ll take some time.”_  
        “I can buy us some.” She looked to the wreckage once more, sadness tugging at her heart. “The pilot-”  
        _“We can’t retrieve the remains until the area’s secure. You have your orders.”_  
        Emma clenched her jaw. “Yes sir. Can you patch me through to Monroe?”  
        There was a click before Marilyn’s voice came over the comms. _“Here, Captain.”_  
        “Can you tell me what I’m looking for?” Emma began to head over to the rest of the unit, motioning for Hawk and Turk to stay put while the rest dispersed, making their way through the tall grass.  
        _“I’m sending everything we have to your iDroids. There’s a cluster of abandoned buildings to your North. That’s where we believe he is.”_  
        “Got it. Thanks.” Emma turned back to Hawk and Turk. “Make sure you’re ready. We’re not going in guns blazing but we don’t want to be unprepared either.”  
        She crouched down in the grass, bringing her int scope to her eyes. She could spot several guards patrolling the area, none of them packing any more heat than a run-of the-mill assault rifle. _Then who had shot down the chopper?_ She quickly scanned the surrounding savanna. Nothing.  
        She mustered her strength and gripped her gun tightly, her legs aching and her ears still ringing.

        “Alright,” she said, trying to hide her uneasiness. “Let’s get this over with.”


	12. Ditadi

 

 

 

_June 1984. Ditadi, Angola._

 

 

 

        The abandoned village was eerily quiet. Emma had opted to keep a wide radius while the sniper gave the area a thorough sweep. The tall grass brushed her cheek as she held her breath, waiting anxiously for his report. Jace’s voice was in her earpiece as he made distance adjustments to his scope, quietly blurting out mutterings of meterage and windspeed to himself.  
        “Well…?” Emma began impatiently, keeping her eyes trained on the village.  
        _“Four guards, all light armor. All of them are packing MRS-4R’s. We’d have to account for about a 5-second reload time, depending on-”_  
        “Only four?”  
        _“What? Oh. Yeah.”_  
        “Check again.” Emma stripped off her gloves and wiped the sweat from her hands. She didn’t have to wait long before Jace’s voice crackled through once more.  
        _“Still four.”_  
        An uneasy feeling tugged at Emma’s gut. This couldn’t be right.  
        “You’re aware that our chopper was just shot down with a _fucking missile launcher_ , correct?”  
      _“I’m well aware, Captain.”_  
        “So where the hell is it?” Emma could feel her sanity slowly unraveling. The remainder of the unit that sat huddled in the grass around her began to fidget impatiently and she knew they were chomping at the bit to see some action. She didn’t quite share that sentiment. She pinched the bridge of her nose before switching the frequency over to Command.  
        “Commander, we’ve got what appears to be four guards packing light. We can’t find any sign of the heavy that shot us down. There could be a whole unit on the other side of the escarpment but we can’t get eyes over there fast enough. If we get caught in an ambush-”  
        _“Deep breaths, Captain.”_  
        It irked her to have to hear him remind her, but she took a moment to do as he said.  
        “If we get caught in an ambush,” she continued in a calmer tone, “there’s no telling what they could hit us with. They took our fucking chopper down, for christ’s sake-”  
        _“Language.”_  
        She breathed in sharply through her nose, biting back a retort. Now wasn’t the time. “Should we proceed or not?”  
        _“You have clearance to make that decision for yourself.”_  
        Emma swore silently, adjusting her grip on her gun. She had no choice, and Kaz was well aware of that. She suppressed the anger that threatened to manifest itself in the form of several choice scathing words, instead motioning for her unit to begin their approach on the village.  
        “Yes, sir,” she said quietly, taking one last glance at the savanna behind her before following her unit.  
        The heat was heavier than a thick wool blanket, bearing down on them unforgivingly and suffocating them with its hot, dry grasp as they neared the crumbling buildings. The black balaclavas weren’t helping. Most of her unit had already pulled theirs off, sacrificing the small tactical advantage they provided just for a breath of fresh air. Hawk had kept his on, however, and Emma could hear his labored breathing clearly from her position. She put her hand on his shoulder and tapped his canteen, the sound of hollow plastic meeting her ears. She pulled him back and down into the grass beside her, taking hold of his balaclava and pulling it off his head. His blonde curls were slicked down with sweat and his face was red. She pulled her own canteen from her belt.  
        “Drink,” she said, holding it out to him.  
        “I can’t, Captain, you need it more than-”  
        She shot him a look, her eyebrow arched. “What do we do if our own medic succumbs to heatstroke?”  
        She could see the internal struggle in his pained facial expression, but eventually he bit his lip and took the canteen, taking a short swig.  
        “Thank you, ma’am,” he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before starting to pull his balaclava back on. She caught his arm and took the balaclava from his hand, tucking it into his harness.  
        “Get some air, buddy. It’s not gonna hurt you.”  
        “Yes, ma’am.”  
        They both rose from the grass and continued on their trek towards the village. Uneasiness still tugged at her gut but she tried her best to put it out of her mind, instead focusing on just where they might find their missing Diamond Dog. Once her unit had made a satisfactory flank she crouched back down in the grass, speaking into her earpiece.  
        “Sniper, can you drop the guards without alerting them?”  
        _“Pfftt,”_ came his response, and before she could say another word she heard the sound of a body hitting the dirt only a few meters ahead of her.  
        “Jesus christ, did you hear me give an order?”  
        _“Uhh-”_  
        “Well it’s too late now, isn’t it? Just finish it.”  
        _“Apologies.”_  
        She made her way over to a nearby building, flattening herself against the wall. Jace spoke up once more.  
        _“All clear.”_  
        “Alright, keep an eye out. We’re going to turn this place upside down.” She signaled to Hawk to join the rest of the unit. “Circle the village and keep your eyes towards the savanna. I don’t want any surprises. Sniper, keep your eyes on me.” She kept the butt of her gun tucked firmly into her shoulder as she evaluated her surroundings. Sometimes the best place to keep a hostage wasn’t always the most obvious, or so she had gathered from her previous experiences. Her attention fell on a sturdy building on the edge of the cluster, the worn wooden door still intact. She made her way over to it, pausing for a moment before kicking down the door and snapping her gun up as she entered. The building was empty, but the walls were lined with ammunition. She inspected the crates more closely, reading the bold lettering on the sides of one of them.  
        _CGM 25._  
        She quickly pried the lid from the crate to find several missiles nestled inside.  
        “Turk, Pip, do we have eyes on anything suspicious?” she said, trying her best to keep her tone calm.  
        _“Negative.”_  
        She glanced back at the crates before heading outside once more. She passed the rubble of decimated homes as she made her way towards the next building, slightly less-intact than the one before, but still standing. The window was wide open and she ducked below it as she passed, wincing as her boots crunched loudly through broken glass. She door was already gone and she rounded the corner with her gun raised. She had a start when she saw a huddled shape on the floor.  
        “Hyena?” She said cautiously, her gun trained on him as she slowly picked her way across the battered, bloodstained floorboards. The figure slowly looked up at her and she could see that a gag was tied tightly around his head, which was barely recognizable due to the dried blood and dirt that was smeared across his face.  
        He moaned quietly before letting his head fall back against the floor.  
        “Commander, I’ve got him,” she said, crouching down next to him and resting a comforting hand on his back.  
        _“I’ve rerouted another helicopter to the area. Rendezvous about half a kilometer south of your location.”_  
        “Yes, sir.” She turned her attention back to Hyena. Tears streamed down his bruised and bloodied face and she smiled down on him. “You’re okay now. Can you hang in there just long enough for us to get you to the chopper?”  
        He nodded slowly. She knew he would find the strength. She knew firsthand what it felt like to feel the touch of a friendly hand for the first time in weeks, to feel the surge of relief, realizing that the worst of it was over. She cut his restraints and pulled him up to a sitting position.  
        “Can you stand?”  
        He pulled the gag from his mouth and nodded once more. “I think…”  
        She wrapped her arm around his waist and helped him up, speaking into the comms once more.  
        “B Unit, you heard the Commander. Start heading south and don’t let your guard down. Jace, follow behind me and watch our backs.”  
        She led Hyena out of the building, holding him tightly to compensate for his imbalance.  
        “They didn’t get anything out of me, Captain, I swear to god,” he said weakly, holding his hand over his eyes to shield them from the harsh sunlight.  
        “Don’t worry about it, Hyena. We’re all just glad you’re okay. The Intel team is going to be so happy to see you.” She helped him along as he stumbled over the rubble, trying to quicken their pace without tiring him out.  
        A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he thought about his friends. “Just the thought of them kept me going.”  
        The distant thud of helicopter blades came into earshot from behind Emma and she breathed a sigh of relief.  
        “You’ll see them soon enough.”  
        Suddenly Emma heard the whiz of a bullet rip through the air and before she could react blood splattered over her face and uniform. A short gasp escaped her lips and she instinctively fell to the ground, her mind fully convinced the blood was her own. Hyena fell down beside her, his head reduced to skull fragments and brain matter.  
        “HYENA! Oh-  _Oh god…_ ” She scrambled towards him, struggling to get a grip on herself. She could feel the shock taking hold of her as brain fluid and blood streamed down her face. She shook him by his harness, bullets pelting the earth around them. _“HYENA!”_  
        _“Captain! Get the hell out of there!”_  
        She paid no attention to Jace’s warning as she grabbed Hyena firmly by the harness, struggling to drag his body towards the LZ.  
        “Come _on_ ,” she grunted, gritting her teeth. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she spun around to see Jace, breathless, his rifle slung over his shoulder.  
        “Hyena’s _DEAD,_ Captain,” he panted, tearing her grip from the harness. “There’s a heavy artillery unit heading towards us from the North. We need to leave NOW.”  
        The helicopter came thundering over the escarpment and Emma felt her very last sliver of hope die within her as she spotted the blacked out windows. She froze.  
        “That’s not ours,” she muttered, just as the helicopter began to tear up the surrounding savanna with its machine guns.  
        Jace took hold of her arm and pulled her in the direction the rest of the unit was heading.  
        “Just run, Captain! _RUN, GODDAMMIT!”_  
        And so she ran, her mind going blank as she focused on that one thing: running. Her heartbeat was in her ears, as was Kaz’s yelling. She couldn’t make out what he was saying. Her world had become a blur and everything sounded like it was underwater. The only thing guiding her was Jace’s firm grip on her arm as he led her onwards, dirt raining down around them as the helicopter let loose a barrage of missiles. One hit too close and Emma was thrown to the ground, the breath knocked from her lungs. She gasped for air and inhaled dirt instead, sending her into a coughing fit. A searing pain bit into her shoulder and her hands wandered upwards to find a splinter of shrapnel protruding from it.  
        “Jesus christ…” She took hold of it with a shaking hand but Jace appeared next to her, catching her wrist. He was miraculously unscathed.  
        “Don’t touch it, okay?” He helped her up and slung her over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry, starting back towards the LZ once more.  
        “How the hell did you…?” She looked back at the small crater the missile had made. Jace must have jumped out of the way at the last minute. How else would he have survived that? Her train of thought was broken as the helicopter thundered in behind them once more.  
        “Jace!” She said breathlessly, watching as it sped towards them from behind. “Jesus, it’s right behind us-” without thinking she took hold of the rifle that hung from his shoulder, aiming it towards the cockpit. Jace’s running jarred her aim but she fired anyways, the recoil throwing her shoulder back. She cried out as her shoulder throbbed in protest, fresh blood flowing from the wound. She quickly reloaded and aimed again, squeezing the trigger. The bullet pinged off of the rotor mechanism and the helicopter veered away to avoid a direct hit. She closed her eyes as waves of pain and dizziness consumed her, but she held tight to the gun as Jace ran onwards. The steady thud of another approaching helicopter’s rotors met her ears and she readied the rifle once more.  
        “Hold on,” Jace said, setting her down in the grass with the other soldiers and taking the rifle from her hands. “I’m gonna need this.”  
        Emma watched as Jace aimed the barrel towards the enemy helicopter’s cockpit with a dead-still grip, closing his non-dominant eye and slowly expelling the air from his lungs. Time seemed to slow down as he aimed, his dark eyelashes blinking once before a piercing green eye focused unwaveringly on the target. In one clean movement of his finger he pulled the trigger, his shoulder absorbing the kick almost effortlessly as a single wisp of hair fell in front of his eyes. The helicopter suddenly hurtled towards the ground, hitting it with a massive explosion. The second helicopter came thundering in around the smoke and Emma felt hope rise in her chest as she spotted the Diamond Dogs emblem on the side.  
        She looked back towards the escarpment to see a tank coming over it. Until it got on level ground they would be out of its range, but she knew they didn’t have long. The helicopter set down beside B Unit and they quickly began to file in. Hawk helped Emma in before jumping up behind her. She watched as the tank leveled itself and aimed directly at the helicopter.  
        _“GO!”_  
        The pilot needed no further invitation and they lurched forwards to dodge the incoming round. Emma gripped the bar next to the door as the ground sped past below them, her loose strands of hair sticking to the blood other face. Once they were out of range she fell back onto the floor, desperately attempting to slow her breathing. She wiped her sleeve across her face, only succeeding in smearing more blood and dirt across it in doing so. She looked down at her hands and the blood on them, suddenly becoming aware of Kaz’s voice coming through the radio.  
        _“IS THE TARGET SECURED?”_  
        Emma looked down at the radio that had been haphazardly thrown to the floor next to her. Her chin began to tremble and flashes of scarlet passed before her eyes again and again. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words failed to come out. She closed her eyes, the sight of the bullet tearing through Hyena’s skull mere inches from her own already burned into her memory. Jace closed the sliding door and a silence fell over the helicopter as Emma’s radio squawked with Kaz’s relentless barrage of questions.  
        _“Goddammit, do you have the target with you?”_  
        All eyes were on Emma as she slowly and painstakingly reached for the radio, blood already pooling beneath her shoulder. Before she could take hold of it, Hawk picked it up.  
        “The target is dead, Commander,” he said cautiously.  
        There was a lengthy pause before Kaz’s voice came back through it. _“Why the hell am I not speaking to Captain Ross?”_  
         Hawk looked down at her. “She’s in pretty bad shape, sir. I think she’s got some bad shell-shock.”  
        _“Is she conscious?”_  
        “Yes, sir, but-”  
        _“If she’s awake, she can answer my damn question herself.”_  
        Emma reached for the radio but Hawk switched it off, tossing it to the other end of the chopper.  
        “Let’s get you patched up, Captain.”  
        It was a long and grueling ride back to Mother Base. Every single person in the chopper knew they were lucky to get out alive, but they all knew what was waiting for them back on base. And so they had spent the long ride mentally preparing themselves for what lay ahead. Emma had been kept heavily doped up by Hawk, who had managed to skillfully extract the shrapnel and stitch her back up. The ketamine had put her into a trance of sorts, and she was forced to watch her mind replay the events of Hyena’s death over and over. She almost would have preferred the pain.  
        The helicopter set itself down on the platform with a grinding thud, and an explosion of color appeared before Emma’s eyes as the door was slid open and the unit began to filter out. Hawk wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her out behind them. Her knees buckled but he held her tight, leading her over to a waiting gurney. She slid onto it and the faces of the staff around her suddenly became more pronounced by a tenfold; their voices echoed incoherently but their faces were clearer than ever. Kaz appeared beside her and said something incomprehensible to the staff surrounding the gurney, gently placing a gloved hand on hers. Emma turned her head to the side to see Snake leading a Rogue Coyote mercenary along in restraints. The man’s face was…  
        That _face._  
        Emma mustered her strength and sat up, the world spinning around her. She started to swing her legs over the side but the staff held her back. Unable to form any words and burning hatred welling up inside of her, an animalistic yell rose from her throat as she reached towards the mercenary. Her line of sight was blocked as Kaz stepped in front of her, firmly pushing her back and repeating a string of words that she couldn't make out. She looked up at him with a look of intense concentration as she watched his lips move, trying to make out the words they formed. The staff started to roll the gurney away and she frantically reached out to Kaz as he grew further and further from her. She summoned all of her available cognitive ability to quietly mutter one word as her mind began to go blank.  
        “Interrogator…”

 


	13. Interrogator

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this flashback chapter, Emma is reminded of her time in XOF captivity and her torment by the man she knows only as Interrogator. This takes place in January 1979, when Emma is several months pregnant with Catherine and Kaz is nowhere to be found after it was revealed that he sold out her mercenary group. 
> 
> If you haven't read my fic All I Ask yet (as old and outdated as it is), I would highly recommend at least skimming Chapter 23 for some background information as to why Emma is in captivity in the first place. 
> 
> Some people might find this chapter disturbing for various reasons, so this is just a warning that there is in fact some disturbing content.

 

_5 years prior_

 

 

_January 1979. Ngomahuru, Rhodesia._

 

 

 

        Emma’s head rested against the cold floor, tears stinging the corners of her eyes and dried blood smeared across her face. She drew several shallow ragged breaths, sharp pain spidering up her ribs with every slight rise and fall of her chest. Her eyes flitted back and forth under her eyelids as she slowly slid a finger under her restraints, giving her bruised wrists some temporary relief from the cold metal that had been cutting into them. She parted her lips, her quiet song filling the dark expanse of the room.  
        _“So I rush to your side…”_ she sang weakly, her voice hoarse and fragile. _“Like the oncoming tide…”_ She coughed quietly, wincing as pain seared through her ribs.  
        Emma opened her eyes slowly, watching the small sliver of light that came in from under the door. She could see the slight shadow where a boot stood, slightly wavering back and forth as the guard outside the door shifted his weight from foot to foot.  
        _“With one burning thought,”_ she continued, closing her eyes once more. _“Will your arms open wide-”_ There was a loud bang on the door and she jumped.  
        “That’s enough.” The guard’s voice was younger and softer than the others’, but Emma knew the amount of force the butt of his pistol could pack. She fell silent once more, the cool cement of the floor soothing her sore jaw.  
        She ran her hand over her stomach, halting her breathing for a moment as she waited to feel a small kick against the palm of her hand. None came. Her heart began to beat faster and she moved her hand to another position, praying for even the smallest sign of life. She could feel tears burning in her eyes as she held her breath.  
        “Please…” she whispered.  
        Almost in response came a little kick, and then another. Emma breathed a sigh of relief, the smallest hint of a smile on her lips. Her energy already spent, she curled up once more, taking comfort in the fact that she hadn’t lost the only thing she had left. _Not yet._  
        She could no longer keep track of the days, the weeks. She had tried, but inevitably it had all become a blur of questions she didn’t know the answer to. A blur of darkness and intermittent flashes of the bright fluorescent lights in the long grey hallway, the only outside world that seemed to exist, blinding her as she was pulled into the interrogation room every day.  
        Emma wanted so desperately to feel burning rage inside of her when she thought about him, when she thought about what he had done. Instead she found herself thinking about his smile, the small dimples in his cheeks that always seemed to surface when he saw her. She found herself thinking about the melody of his voice, the depth of his laugh. The way his eyes glinted when he was up to something, the way he pursed his lips when he was upset.  
        “Kaz,” she whispered quietly. The name rolled off her tongue the way it used to, so effortlessly and with a touch of adoration. Her lip trembled as the Kaz of her imagination turned to face her, flashing a smile and throwing a mock salute in her direction. His mouth formed his usual words of encouragement, his eyes twinkling.  
        _Hang in there, kid._  
        Suddenly the door clicked and Emma’s eyes flew open as two shadowed figures entered the room, hands close to their holsters as they approached her. They had remembered the fight she put up last time, but they needn’t worry this time around; Emma no longer possessed the strength she had yesterday and she didn’t feel like enduring another broken rib for her troubles. She lay there limply as the guards undid her restraints, each taking hold of one of her arms and pulling her to her feet.  
        She grit her teeth and a small whimper escaped her lips as her ribs ached in protest. The guards pulled her out into the hallway and Emma lowered her head as the bright lights pierced her eyes like hot white daggers. Her eyelids remained half-closed as they adjusted to the light, and as her escorts rounded the corner of the hall the guard to her right spoke up.  
        “Got any names picked out?”  
        Emma tried her best to refrain from showing any reaction to the words, but they wormed their way inside of her, taunting her and reminding her that neither she nor Kaz had actually had the chance or care to put any thought into it yet.  
        “Best to not get too attached.”  
        Adrenaline surged through her, urging her to break free from their grasp and run, but she knew she wouldn’t last more than twenty seconds before she had a bullet through her skull. Her hands curled into fists but she didn't struggle against the guards’ grip this time, her strength already waning after the previous day’s session.  
        They reached the end of the hallway and Emma held her breath as the door was opened and she was escorted in. A solitary chair sat in the middle of the room, which was dark except for a single harsh overhead light. It cast sharp shadows on the room and its two other occupants, who lingered patiently in the dark as she was pushed into the chair, her ankles tied to it tightly and her hands bound behind her back. She recognized the impeccably-polished boots of Interrogator, as she had appropriately named him, but another person stood beside him that she couldn’t recognize. His face was also hidden in the shadows but he was taller than Interrogator, his stature straighter.  
        Interrogator stepped forward and Emma clenched her teeth, readying herself for the inevitable blow that she had learned to expect.  
        It didn’t come.  
        He crouched to her level and she turned her head away, throwing away the one opportunity she had to get a good look at his face in the light. He chuckled, turning to the man that still stood in the shadows.  
        “Hasn’t said a word about him yet, but she will. You won’t be disappointed, sir.” His thick Rhodesian accent rolled off his tongue, biting through the static air of the room. He took hold of her chin and turned her head to face the man behind him. “Can’t have much left in her at this point.”  
        The man remained silent, his face still in shadow. He wrote something down on his clipboard and Emma could hear the scratching of the pen on paper from where she sat. The patch on his arm flashed into the light for a split second and Emma could just make out the shape of a fox upon it before the man lowered his arm again, clearing his throat.  
        “Proceed.”  
        Interrogator’s fist met Emma’s jaw in the usual fashion, throwing her head to the side with the force of the blow.  
        “Where is he?”  
        His demand was followed by another punch, opening up the cut on Emma’s lip once more. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and she spat onto the floor, looking back up at Interrogator’s shadowy figure challengingly, remaining silent.  
        “Locations, times, I want _all_ of it,” he continued.  
        She blinked slowly, looking back down at her worn boots. A blade of grass was caught between the laces, a reminder that she hadn’t been outside of these walls in what must have been days. Or was it weeks? She looked down at it with curiosity and longing, surprised by the fact that it had remained here with her for this long.  
        Her thoughts were interrupted as one of the guards took hold of her shoulders and pulled a thick black hood over her head, blocking out all of the light that the room had to offer and leaving her in complete darkness. She heard the crunching of feedback as the 8-track player was plugged into the amplifier before the familiar sound of Josephine Baker’s singing filled the room. A cold hand took hold of her arm and a moment later she felt a needle plunge into it, burning liquid filling her veins. She fought the urge to cry out, clenching her teeth and breathing heavily through them as the burning sensation spread throughout her body. Someone behind her firmly grasped her wrists, pulling them upwards towards her shoulder blades and sending further jolts of pain shooting through her arms.  
        “Was Kazuhira Miller present when your unit attacked XOF forces on December 5th 1977?”  
        _“AAAAAAAGH!”_ Emma’s hands were pushed further upwards until words finally tumbled from her mouth. “I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what the hell XOF is-”  
        The guard behind her pushed her hands upwards again and she cried out, fearing her tendons would snap at any second.  
        Interrogator spoke in smooth Afrikaans. “Ah, but that’s a lie. And I thought we had already stopped telling lies a week ago, hadn’t we?” She felt the unmistakeable grip of his hands around her throat, his voice mere inches from her face. “I thought we had gotten all of the lies beaten out of you, Commander.”  
        She gasped for breath but her lungs found none as Interrogator’s hands closed tighter around her throat. The injection was beginning to work its way into her system, vivid hallucinations of colors dancing before her eyes, her veins filled with liquid fire. Josephine Baker’s _“Paris, Paris, Paris”_ quickly turned into a haunting, echoing melody that wormed its way into her ears and triggered flashes of blinding pain as she succumbed to sensory overload. She could feel the room spinning and bearing down around her, and she prayed to the god she hadn’t prayed to in years that she would make it out of this.  
        _“Kcckgh-”_ She struggled against Interrogator’s steel grip but it was no use. Just when her limbs began to go limp he let go, taking several steps back. She could hear him breathing heavily through his nose, his frustration apparent. She coughed weakly and summoned the strength to let a few scathing words fall from her bloodied lips.  
        “I’ll break you before you break me.”  
        A silence fell over the room, broken only by Josephine Baker’s voice coming strongly through the amp.  
        “Bring her to the table,” Interrogator muttered.  
        Suddenly the hood was pulled from her head, the fluorescent light blinding her once more as her restraints were undone and she was roughly dragged from the chair.  
        “Let’s test that theory,” Interrogator said, his voice unnaturally low and quiet.  
        Emma kicked and struggled against the guards’ grasp but they lifted her onto the table, strapping her arms and feet down securely. She could feel her heart rate increasing as Interrogator checked each of the restraints. The bright light above the table suddenly flickered on and for a brief moment Interrogator’s face was illuminated by it.  
        His face was younger than she expected, with dirty blonde hair neatly cut to military standards. There was something in his eyes that chilled her, or rather, the absence of something. There was no glint, no spark, nothing that made him human. The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile, and then the light was turned away.  
        “Please,” she said quietly, her lip trembling as all of her courage dissipated almost instantly. “I’ve never done anything to wrong the government. I swear on my life.”  
        Her words were ignored as Interrogator slowly drew a long carbon black knife from his sheath, the overhead light catching the edge of its blade as it cut through the shadows. Emma’s heart began to beat faster still as she squirmed against her restraints. Interrogator held the knife out to the guard standing by her feet, looking back at the man still standing in the shadows.  
        “This one’s one of yours, right?” he said, motioning to the guard, who slowly took the knife from his hand.  
        “He is.”  
        “Mind if he makes himself useful?”  
        “Not at all.”  
        Interrogator turned back to Emma, sliding her shirt up past her stomach.  
        “Oh _god,”_ Emma whimpered. “Please don’t…” She could feel panic begin to take hold of her and her breathing became faster and more erratic as Interrogator placed his hand on her stomach. _“Please…”_ Suddenly a small kick met the palm of his hand and tears began to slide down Emma’s cheeks as he tapped the spot the kick had originated from with his finger.  
        “Right here. I want a nice clean cut.”  
        The man from the shadows spoke up, his voice hesitant. “Major…”  
        “It won’t kill her,” Interrogator said, turning back to Emma and taking hold of her jaw. He roughly turned her head to face him and once more Emma was looking into his soulless eyes. Suddenly she felt all hope leave her and sobs began to rack her body, her mind in shambles and her veins still burning. She could feel herself cracking as the injection began to warp her thoughts, urging her to say things she swore to never tell. Interrogator watched her cry with amusement, thoroughly entertained by the sight of her so broken.  
        “Anything you want to say before we start?”  
        Emma’s sobs only grew louder as she felt the guard’s gloved hand on her stomach. She started to look down but Interrogator kept her head turned towards him, smiling as he watched her writhe helplessly against the restraints. She was only one breath away from telling him everything, but she fought relentlessly against the truth serum as sweat and tears streamed down her cheeks.  
        “Go ahead, then.”  
        Emma felt a stinging sensation as the tip of the knife began to cut into her flesh, and a piercing scream rose from her throat as she tried to break free. And suddenly, without warning, his name tumbled from of her lips in a guttural cry for help, as if somehow he would hear her.  
        **_“KAZ!”_** Her eyes began to roll back in her head as the pain and dizzying confusion gripped her, threatening to consume her entirely. The knife was lifted from her skin and Interrogator leaned in closer.  
        “That’s right. Kazuhira Miller. Where is he?” Interrogator nodded to the guard to continue but the man from the shadows spoke up.  
        “Major, that’s _enough._ ” His voice was frighteningly stern and Interrogator immediately let go of Emma’s jaw, snapping to attention.  
        “Yes, sir.”  
        The man said something she couldn’t quite make out and suddenly both Interrogator and the guard saluted and left. She could feel the adrenaline still coursing through her and she tried her best to hold back her tears as the room spun. The sound of heavy boots approached her side and the man spoke up, his voice surprisingly gentle.  
        “The cut isn’t too deep. We’ll have someone patch you up so it doesn’t get infected.” He sighed, setting the clipboard down on a nearby table. “He tends to get carried away with these interrogations, but I’m sure you understand. After all, we found the mutilated bodies of some of our men by your old base camp after that raid last year. I can only assume they were subjected to similar atrocities.”  
        Emma could hardly believe what she was hearing. The man slid the chair over to the side of the table and turned the light away from her eyes so she could see his face. He was older, hints of grey at his temples and crows feet gracing the corners of his eyes.  
        “Why are you doing this?” Emma whispered, her voice wavering.  
        The man clenched his jaw and looked away for a moment, trying to formulate the right words.  
        “I’m a Commander, like you. This is just one of the facilities under my authority.” He sighed. “I’ve got a job to do, and you know how interrogations go. You squeeze every last drop from them and toss them out before getting on with the next thing. You can at least understand that, I’m sure.”  
        Emma remained silent, carefully watching the man sitting before her.  
        “Kazuhira Miller is a traitor,” he continued. “He sold our secrets and compromised this country’s _-and other countries’-_ security for a handful of money and the opportunity to be called a hero.” He looked into her eyes. “Does this sound like the Kazuhira Miller you know?”  
        Emma was suddenly reminded of the Knights, her brothers-in-arms, the ones who ultimately paid the price of Kaz’s betrayal and the lies he had spun. She bit her lip as hot tears stung her eyes.  
        “I don’t know him.”  
        “He didn’t sell out your unit? Because I have files submitted to various government agencies under his name, mentioning each of you one by one and stating your involvement in unsanctioned mercenary business. That usually warrants death by firing squad in most situations.”  
        Emma didn’t need to be reminded. She pushed the thought from her mind, but the man continued.  
        “We want him for the same reasons you do. You see, Commander, I respect what you’re doing out here in Rhodesia, I really do. You and I are one in the same, working towards the same goals with the same values in mind. We probably would have been working together by now if Miller hadn't convinced your mercenaries that we were the enemy-”  
        “I don’t know him,” she repeated.  
        The man pursed his lips and stood, looking down at her with curiosity. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to last this long denying the facts, Commander,” he said. “But I can assure you that fighting us won’t help. I’m asking you for your cooperation, nothing more. We both know that he can’t do this forever. If you give me your help I can assure you the government won’t be meddling in the KOR’s affairs any longer. You’ll have XOF on your side in all of your operations from this point out. All of the weapons and supplies you and your men need to mount a full-scale rebellion against ZANLA.”  
        Emma breathed out slowly through her nose and closed her eyes as the serum finally began to lose its strength. “You have the wrong person,” she said with false front of slightly renewed fortitude. “I’ve never met him in my life.”  
        The man pushed the chair back to where it had been before taking his clipboard under his arm once more.  
        “I’ll send someone to patch you back up. I expect you to consider my offer before you throw your opportunities away so quickly. Think about it.”  
        And with that he opened the door and left, leaving Emma alone in the darkness.  
        She suddenly burst into tears, silently cursing Kaz and simultaneously begging him to help her, to take the fall for his own actions rather than letting her suffer. She wept for her own inevitable death, accepting the fact that it was only a matter of time until she faded away completely. She had never felt more alone and helpless than she did now, abandoned by the one person she had trusted the most.  
        And so she lay there in the dark, crying quietly as warm blood trickled down her side and onto the cool metal table. The kicking that came from within her was steady now, a silent reassurance that Emma wasn’t alone. If she could hold out just a little longer, just long enough to watch the life leave Interrogator’s eyes by her own hands... If that was the only thing motivating her, so be it.  
        So for the first time in years, she prayed.  
        She prayed that God would allow her the privilege of being the one to kill him.


	14. Commander Coyote

 

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters._

 

 

 

 

        “-other than that, you can expect your duties on Mother Base to remain the same. I think it’s best if we keep you out of deployment until further notice.” Kaz's eyes swept over the faces of the B Unit soldiers that sat around the table before him, all of them still visibly shaken by what had transpired just a few days prior. He had almost expected a collective groan in protest, but they remained silent, some of them staring vacantly at the reports that had been collected in a neat pile in front of their Commander. Kaz glanced to where Emma sat, expecting at the very least a disappointed sigh from her direction.  
        To his surprise she remained quiet as well, her eyes trained on the hands clasped neatly on the table before her. Her cheeks had yet to recover their usual rosy vibrancy and her eyes were glassy, looking down at her hands with an unwavering, unblinking gaze. It was obvious that her mind was elsewhere.  
        “Well then.” Kaz turned his attention back to the others and nodded towards the door. “Dismissed.”  
        There was a shuffle as the soldiers rose and filed out of the briefing room in a much more subdued manner than normal, none of their usual excited chatter following them out. Emma snapped out of her momentary trance and started to rise from the table, gathering the papers in front of her absentmindedly.  
        Kaz cleared his throat. “Captain, a word-”  
        Emma hesitated momentarily but continued to stack the papers, keeping her eyes lowered. Kaz waited until the last of the men had left before continuing.  
        “Are you alright?”  
        She avoided the question for a moment, focusing instead on tucking the reports neatly into a folder before finally letting her eyes meet his.  
        “I’m fine.”  
        Kaz looked her over with a degree of skepticism. She had spent the last two nights on Medical, an admittedly lengthy stay for something as minor as a gash in her shoulder. But the medics insisted that the extra night was necessary; the ketamine in her system had been triggering hallucinations, and for her own safety and that of the staff they were forced to put her under on more than one occasion until it had dissipated completely from her system. According to the personnel, she hadn’t divulged what these hallucinations consisted of, nor had she accepted the relaxants they offered, opting instead to wait it out in isolation for the remainder of her stay on the Medical platform. Kaz hadn’t gotten the chance to check in on her until now, and it was obvious that she was still not one hundred percent… _there._ He motioned to the chair she had just risen from, lowering himself into the one across from her with a sigh.  
        She stayed on her feet for a moment, watching the door out of the corner of her eye as if she were going to make a run for it, but she slowly sat back down again, keeping her eyes averted.  
        “What’s going on, Emma?” He didn’t bother trying to hide the obvious concern in his voice. He was tired of skirting around these sorts of things, being forced to merely postulate what was troubling her at any given moment. He was tired of the damn guessing games.  
        “Nothi-”  
        _“Don’t give me that bullshit.”_ She was caught off-guard by the causticity of his words, her lies frozen in her throat as she looked up at him in shock, her facade finally crumbling. He almost regretted being so bold, but as she slowly let her guard down he could see an underlying fear he hadn't taken note of before. He softened his tone. “Are you still… seeing things?”  
        She averted her eyes again and bit the inside of her cheek, exhaling sharply through her nose as she did so. He could see the internal struggle as she fought against another lie that threatened to rise from her throat.  
        “I’m _not_ seeing things.”  
        Kaz sighed, trying to keep his tone level despite his frustration. “It’s normal for hallucinations to feel real. I’m sure the events of your last deployment took their toll on you-”  
        “It has nothing to do with the mission.”  
        Kaz stopped short, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”  
        She inhaled as if she were about to speak, but the breath caught in her throat and she fell silent again. Suddenly he found himself more worried than he was a moment ago as he waited for her response with an unexpected feeling of dread. She looked away, a single word finally tumbling from her lips in what seemed to be an emergence of shame and embarrassment.  
        _“Ngomahuru.”_  
        Kaz felt his heart stop as the word met his ears, and he was suddenly and quite overwhelmingly struck with a pang of guilt as the pain and anger he thought he had buried long ago suddenly began to rise again within him. For lack of a better way to express his concern, he reached out and took her hand in an act of tenderness that he hadn’t displayed in what seemed like ages. Her hand felt foreign in his, surprisingly cold and fragile.  
        “Emma…” He struggled to find the right words to convey the resurgence of his emotions. “Why Ngomahuru? What… What’s going on?” He knew he sounded like a broken record, as if repeating himself would really help him get to the bottom of this. He was well aware of how XOF had made its mark on her all those years ago, how even now it woke her up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, tears streaming down her cheeks as she once more woke from the recurring nightmare of hands ripping her unborn child from her. He hastily tried to lead her away from delving deeper into things she didn’t want to remember. “Listen, Emma, you should take the rest of the day to-”  
        “The man from Ngomahuru… Interrogator. Kaz, I saw him.” She looked up at him pleadingly, hoping for some sort of explanation or assurance that everything was alright.  
        “You’ve had a bad reaction to the ketamine, Em,” he said as gently as he could, squeezing her hand tighter. “I want you to take the day off today, okay? We can talk about this later, but for the moment you need to try not to think about it.”  
        She shook her head, her brow furrowing in frustration. “You don’t understand, Kaz. He’s here-”  
        “He’s _dead_ , Emma. No one on this base is going to hurt you, I promise.” His iDroid chirped from within his pocket and he sighed, taking his crutch and rising from the chair with a wince as pain shot up his leg. “I’ve got to get down to Room 101. Tell Hawk to take you back to my quarters. I’ll be back later tonight.” He started to head to the door but he stopped in his tracks, not wanting to leave her on such a bleak note. He turned back to face her, trying to channel a more upbeat tone. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get down to see you these past few days. It’s been hell around here.” He attempted a comforting smile. “I’m glad you’re alright.”  
        She fell silent once more and turned away, resting her elbows back on the table and cradling her head in her hands. The half-hearted smile fell from Kaz’s face and he turned back towards the door, reluctantly heading out into the hot summer afternoon.  
        While his worry still lingered, he knew that yet again he couldn’t afford to be analyzing Emma’s problems when they didn’t concern Diamond Dogs operations. He still pitied her nonetheless; she had spent so long recovering from what had happened only for some damn anesthetic to dredge it all back up again. He knew better than anyone how it felt, seeing the ghosts of his past every day. At least it would get better for her, the hallucinations would fade in time. Kaz knew he could never expect the same luck for himself.  
        He turned his attention back to the matters at hand, the matters that waited for him in Room 101. He hoped Ocelot hadn’t already begun with the interrogation; the mercenary they had gotten hold of - _the Major_ , as he apparently referred to himself- had been rumored to have a great deal of information concerning the sale of nuclear material. If they could crack him, there was no telling how many names he would spill. If they could pinpoint Cipher as the primary client, they could finally stop spinning their wheels and mount an operation to recover the shipment. The Major had been kept in isolation until this morning, when Ocelot had finally decided it was time to see what he had to say.  
        Kaz reached Warehouse 1 and slipped inside, sighing quietly as the cool air conditioning washed over him. The Major was seated in the middle of the room, his hands and legs bound to the rusted iron chair and his head hung low. Ocelot stood before him with his arms crossed, and as Kaz approached he turned to him.  
        “I suggest you start the tape before I fill you in on the situation,” he said, the words rolling off his tongue in his usual drawl. He looked back at the Major with an air of intrigue. “Snake will want to hear about this.”  
Kaz set the tape recorder down on the table and pressed the record button, slowly making his way back over to Ocelot once more.  
        “So you’ve already started.”  
        “No.” Ocelot revealed the file he had been holding under his arm, skipping to one of the last pages. “Something Intel managed to dig up on him this morning.” He traced his finger down the report until he found the paragraph in question. “Used to serve in the Rhodesian SAS. Under _you_.”  
        “Me?” Kaz looked back at the Major, his huddled shape not jogging his memory whatsoever. He took his crutch and brought the end of it up underneath the Major’s chin, tilting his head up into the light for Kaz to see.  
        A thin pink scar ran the length the man’s cheekbone and coarse stubble peppered his jaw. His eyes flitted up to Kaz, and as the blue and green irises met Kaz’s own it all came back to him at once, hitting him like a freight train.  
        _“Beckett?”_  
        Suddenly Kaz was whisked back to that hot summer of 1978, the red Rhodesian earth under his boots as he ran drills with the recruits, Captain Beckett at his side. He remembered sitting in the pub with him after a long day of jumps, laughing over whatever mishaps they had encountered and exchanging stories that made each other laugh even harder. He was one of Kaz’s most trusted men. He showed the most promise of being the kind of man that would lead the country back to a stable state, the kind of man who listened to reason and the premise of change, not the voices of an old and dying way of life.  
       And here he was in front of Kaz once more, lines of anger and sorrow etched into his brow, the youth he once possessed now hidden under the mask of a hardened war criminal. The vigor in his eyes was gone, replaced by a chilling glint as a smile slowly spread across his face.  
        “Major Miller.”  
        Kaz looked to Ocelot, as if somehow he would be able to help him make sense of what was happening. With a slight shake of his head Ocelot slid the file onto the table behind them. “I’d be willing to bet most of Rogue Coyote is made up of your old boys, Miller. With the collapse of Rhodesia they most likely turned to mercenary work.”  
        Kaz turned back to the Major, trying not to let the hurt he felt manifest itself in his voice.  
        “What the hell are you doing with Cipher? The outbreak in Bwala ya Masa-”  
        “-was _not_ my doing,” the Major growled defensively, his Rhodesian accent just as strong as it ever was. “And don’t listen to anything those CFA bastards say about it.”  
        Ocelot spoke up. “We were under the impression that you were partnered with the CFA for that shipment.”  
        “I passed it up because the pay was shit.” He peered up at Kaz and Ocelot, and as much as Kaz hated to admit, he appeared to be telling the truth. Beckett, sinking to the level of a cutthroat mercenary just for the money… Kaz was disappointed. _Disgusted_. The Major continued. “When they started dropping like flies they collectively decided I was the one behind it. But I was in fact _not_.”  
        Ocelot hooked his thumbs onto his belt, obviously just as surprised as Kaz at how cooperative the mercenary was being. “And the shipment? Who was your client?”  
        “Zero Risk Security started poking their noses into our business. They wanted to know the same thing. So I’ll give you the same answer I gave them: I don’t know.”  
        “You expect me to believe that you don’t know your own client?”  
        “That’s right. Because I _don’t_. The requisitions go through at least three or four people before they get to me. Whoever it is, they know how to cover their tracks."  
        Kaz pursed his lips. “Why would ZRS care about the shipments? I thought you shared a common clientele.”  
        The Major shook his head, chuckling quietly. “ZRS and the CFA have stopped caring about their own personal interests for far too long. Selling themselves out to expats with dreams to build an army. But when they saw us actually investing in ourselves… Well, there was a conflict of interest.” He looked up at Miller, his piercing eyes meeting Kaz’s own. “We no longer see eye to eye.”  
        “Are you telling me you’ve been trying to break ties with Cipher?” Ocelot lowered himself to the Major’s level, his curiosity suddenly piqued. “If you can provide us with the information we need-”  
        “Let me guess, you’ll give us ammo, supplies, anything we need to combat them.” The Major broke into a loud laugh, genuinely amused at the proposition. “There’s nothing you could offer us. And we haven't forgotten how many Coyote lives you’ve taken.”  
        Ocelot looked to Miller and nodded his head towards the two-way mirror, making his way over to the door. Kaz followed him into the room, turning off the tape recorder and pocketing it. Ocelot waited for the door to shut behind them before glancing back towards the Major.  
        “Well… I didn’t expect him to actually talk. I thought he’d put up more of a fight.”  
        “Yeah.” Kaz was still unable to process the fact that his most trusted recruit had moved on to become the commander of a mercenary organization, dealing in money and lives as if it meant nothing to him, preferring to serve the highest bidder over a worthy and righteous cause. Kaz knew that it was only further evidence of his failings as a leader, proof that he had never been cut out to lead or inspire in a way Snake had the power to do.  
        He pushed the thought from his mind for the moment and turned his attention back to Ocelot. “I think he’s telling the truth. The shipments, the cut-outs… It all makes sense. Cipher never would have dealt with him directly.”  
        “Probably why ZRS was getting suspicious.”  
        “Exactly. And if we can get Rogue Coyote to break ties with Cipher, that’ll be one less mercenary outfit for Skullface to take advantage of.” Kaz frowned. “But it doesn’t give us any leads on the outbreak at Bwala ya Masa. We’re back to square one.”  
        “Well we can at least cut Rogue Coyote out of the equation there. He said it himself, he was only passing up a job for the pay.”  
        “Less than honorable.”  
        “But it doesn’t surprise me.” Ocelot quickly corrected himself. “ _Not_ to question your past impact on him, of course-”  
        “I know what you meant.” Kaz sighed. He took the recorder out of his pocket and ejected the tape, handing it to Ocelot. “See to it that Snake takes a listen to this. Beckett didn’t say much, but what he did say means we have to start looking in other places for the source of that outbreak.”  
        Ocelot took the tape. “Noted. I’ll make sure he-”  
        He was interrupted by a loud metallic scraping, and they turned to the window to see a figure dragging a chair across the floor and propping it up underneath the door handle.  
        Kaz’s heart stopped in his chest. _“Emma,”_ he breathed.  
        Ocelot pushed past Kaz and tried the door with no success before attempting to use his shoulder to ram it open. Kaz turned back to the window to see Emma slowly approach the Major, her stride slow and deliberate. She spoke, her voice barely audible through the speakers.  
        _“Ek het jou gesê ek sal jou breek.”_  
        In one swift motion she swung her fist, catching the Major’s jaw and flinging his head to the side.  
        _“Ek het jou gesê, jou bliksem!”_  
        Kaz spun to face Ocelot.  
        “Call Snake in _NOW!”_ He hit his fist against the window with as much force as he could muster. **_“EMMA!”_** It was no use. Either she couldn’t hear him or she had already mentally blocked him out.  
        She hit the Major again, sending drops of blood flying.  
        Again.  
        And _again._  
        She took a moment to muster her strength before striking him with an uppercut, sending him backwards to the floor. She dropped to her knees, closing her hand around his neck and letting loose punch after punch to his face until her fist and forearm was covered in bright red blood. She kept going, marking every punch with clipped Afrikaans until she tired herself out, at which point in time she wrapped both of her hands around his neck and proceeded to put all of her remaining strength and body weight into cutting off his air.  
        _“Where the hell is Snake?”_ Kaz shouted, and almost in response to his question the other door flew open and Snake ran into the interrogation room, pulling Emma off of the Major and twisting her arm behind her back so she wouldn’t run. A security team stormed in behind him and surrounded them, guns drawn. The chair was removed from the door and Kaz quickly pushed through, moving between the soldiers until he reached Snake and Emma.  
        **_“What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?!”_**  
        Emma flinched at his sudden outburst, only now aware of the situation she had found herself in; half a dozen guns were aimed straight at her heart, her arm forced behind her back in Snake’s steel grip and Kaz standing before her, burning with anger.  
        “Kaz, please-”  
        _“What **was** that?!”_ She started to turn her head away. _“LOOK AT ME!”_ Kaz let go of his crutch and forcefully turned her head to face him. “Do you have _any_ idea what you’ve just done?!” He felt his face growing warmer, not only in anger but in embarrassment as well; this was the second time Snake had to pry her off of someone like this.  
        Blood dripped from her fingers onto the floor.  
        “Kaz, the man from Ngomahuru-”  
        _She had the audacity…_  
        Anger welled up inside of him but he managed to keep it at bay just long enough to let a single cohesive order through his clenched teeth. “I’ve had enough of this. You’re going back to Medical until you’ve been properly evaluated and cleared.”  
        “Wait-” she begged, her eyes wide with urgency.  
        Snake passed her off to several guards, and she was quickly ushered out of the room without a struggle, with nothing other than a helpless glance over her shoulder in Kaz’s direction as she disappeared around the corner.  
        One of the soldiers picked up Kaz’s crutch and handed it back to him, and Kaz took a moment to massage his temples before taking it. “I have no idea what’s gotten into her. I’m sorry.”  
        Snake watched the doorway with narrowed eyes. “She said ‘the man from Ngomahuru’. What does that mean?”  
        Kaz clenched his jaw. “It’s just-” he paused, caught on the words. “Her hallucinations. The ketamine…. She wasn’t ready to come back yet.” He sighed, ashamed of Emma and ashamed of himself for letting it get to this point, for thinking she was fit to be back on the job so soon. Ocelot stepped forward, watching as several soldiers escorted the Major back out of the room. He was doubled over, strings of bloody saliva hanging from his split lip.  
        “This kind of thing can’t happen, Miller,” Ocelot said quietly. “Not with her as head of your unit. And _especially_ not with how valuable that man is to us.”  
        “I know.” It hurt to hear the words but he knew they were true. “But I’m taking the blame. I pulled her out of Medical before she was ready.”  
        Ocelot pursed his lips and looked him over for a moment, suspicion glinting in his sparkling blue eyes. He finally turned on his heel and left, leaving Kaz and Snake alone.  
        Snake looked down at the spatters of blood on the floor. “Kaz, you’re sure it’s the ketamine…”  
        “Yeah.” If there was a twinge of uncertainty in his voice Snake didn’t pick up on it.  
        He nodded slowly. “I’m taking your word for it. We have other things to deal with right now. Walk with me.” He headed to the door and Kaz followed, trying his best to put what had just happened out of his mind. “What did the Major have to say?”  
        “They’ve been getting their orders through cut-outs. It still looks as though Cipher is the client but there’s no way of knowing without all of the information. We can rule out ZRS and the CFA, since they were both trying to get their hands on the intel as well. We’re lucky we got to him first.”  
        “What about the rest of Rogue Coyote?”  
        “That’s the thing, Boss. From what the Major said, it looks like they’re trying to distance themselves from Cipher, ZRS, the CFA… All in the name of self-investment, whatever that entails. I think we might be able to work with him. Maybe even get Rogue Coyote to-”  
        “ _Kaz._ ” Snake stopped with a sigh, placing his hand on a nearby handrail and looking out over the water. “I’m not going to start funneling money to a mercenary organization-”  
        “That’s not what I’m suggesting-”  
        “- all in the name of helping them to ‘right their wrongs’ or whatever noble deed it is you intend to do.” Kaz fell silent. “I _know_ you.” He looked into Kaz’s eyes with a burning intensity, seeing straight through any lies he could try to concoct before they ever left his mouth. “We were mercenaries once, too. We still are.”  
        “But we’re better than that now.” Kaz was annoyed at how childish the words sounded now that they had come out. “These were men I trained to be… _more_.”  
        “And they are, aren’t they? Abandoning their government as you would have done, taking matters into their hands in the way you showed them to. What makes them so different? Haven’t they followed in your footsteps?”  
        Kaz knew Snake was right. He always was, always had been. But he wasn't about to let go of his vision; it was his duty, wasn't it? He opted to direct the focus of the conversation on something other than his own insecurities. “The Major will be of use to us,” he reiterated quietly, for lack of anything better to say, and they started off towards the Command building once more.


	15. The Rock and the Hard Place

 

 

 

_June 1984. Seychelles Waters. Medical Platform._

 

 

 

        Moonlight streamed through the narrow slit of a window above Emma’s head, washing the room in a soft blue glow. The monitor next to her bed whirred quietly, an abrupt beep breaking the silence every few minutes and doing more than enough to keep her awake. Her eyelids were heavy with the desire to drift off into sleep, but her mind was more awake than ever and simply wouldn’t allow it.  
        Emma hadn’t said a word since she had been dragged out of Room 101. It was at that time that a moment of realization -perhaps even clarity- had come over her, the realization that maybe all of this really _was_ in her head. She hadn’t been able to think straight since her deployment; her mind was in shambles and she was still struggling to pick up the pieces. Flashes of Hyena’s death still haunted her every time she closed her eyes, and every time she opened them again the red was still there, dripping down her peripherals, a constant reminder of her failure.  
        It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He wasn’t supposed to die.  
        There was one thing she knew was real, and it was the look on Kaz’s face that had been responsible for snapping her out of it. The anger… the _disappointment_ in his eyes, the way his teeth were bared as the orders fell from his lips in a growl, every shred of sympathy gone. To see the only one person in that room who would believe her so callous and cold… It was jarring.  
        Perhaps they really _were_ hallucinations.  
        Emma rolled over to face the wall for the umpteenth time that night, already accepting that sleep would never claim her at this rate. She didn’t want to let her guard down anyways, not after what had transpired that day. The Medical staff seemed to be treating her as if she was going insane. Maybe they were right to. Maybe they really were doing the right thing by keeping her pumped full of depressants until the effects of the ketamine subsided. She hadn’t protested this time around. She didn't fight them. She had quietly and calmly let them run their tests, all with an overwhelming sense of defeat.  
        It _was_ the ketamine, wasn’t it?  
        Then there was Interrogator. She was sure it was him. The one look she got at his face back in Ngomahuru was enough to be burned into her memory for her lifetime. But the way Kaz had reacted made her doubt everything; that alone was enough to make her question her own memories, and even what she perceived as real. Ever since then a burning guilt had taken up residence within her as she realized just how big of a fool she had made herself in front of not only Kaz but Snake as well… The man who had the power to throw her off this base with a single word, the man who had been watching her with added scrutiny ever since he had pulled her off of those bloodied and beaten recruits so many weeks ago. She was one misstep away from losing her unit, perhaps even her place on Mother Base. Her records and reports dripped red from her impudent behavior on base and her strategic failures in the field. Snake should have thrown her out ages ago. She no longer knew what to believe, who to trust, and she feared that at any moment she would simply fall apart under the weight of it all.  
        There was a quiet click as the lock on the door disengaged, followed by a swish as it opened. Emma quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep; she didn’t need to guess who now stood in the threshold, and she didn’t want to have to face him right now. Not when she was already one touch away from losing her grasp on everything around her.  
        The door closed again and she heard a quiet sigh as her guest made made his way towards the bed, each step alternating with the sound of the rubber foot of a crutch. There was a metallic clink as he set it against the frame of the bed before the thin mattress sank as he sat down on it next to her, still trying to catch his breath from the flight of stairs that he had undoubtedly ascended just several moments prior.  
        His hand brushed over hers for a moment, his fingers lightly following the tube of the IV that snaked up her arm.  
        “Valium?” she heard him whisper to himself. “Jesus christ.”  
        The pity in his voice caught her off-guard. All at once his presence seemed much warmer and more inviting than it was just a few hours prior, and she was tempted to roll over and pull him into her arms, desperate for even a momentary escape from the hell she had found herself in. She wanted to apologize, to beg for his forgiveness, and more than anything she wanted him to take her away from here, away from this damned platform.  
        There was a shift in the mattress as he leaned over and suddenly she felt his lips on her cheek, his harsh stubble scratching her skin in the most comforting way it could. He lingered for a moment, his warm breath sending shivers up her spine and making her wish they could be anywhere but here. She felt her reservations crumble and she stirred, turning to face him.  
        He drew back slightly. “I’m sorry, Em. I didn’t mean to-”  
        “Don’t be sorry.”  
        He fell silent, his brow furrowed as he looked down at her with both concern and curiosity. He had taken off his glasses, his tired eyes reflecting the moonlight mesmerizingly as he took in the sight of her. It was the most warm and comforting sight she could imagine, already slowing her racing mind and providing her with a much-needed moment of calm. Finally he spoke, his voice quiet and contemplative.  
        “I have a lot to apologize for.”  
        Emma pushed herself up onto her elbows and sat up so her eyes were level with his, bracing herself until the dizziness subsided. “Kaz, I should be the one-” He shook his head slightly and she stopped short, suddenly understanding the weight of his words.  
        “I feel like I’ve been… absent.” He saw the confusion in her eyes and continued. “Or maybe there’s some sort of disconnect and you don’t feel like you can’t tell me when something’s troubling you.” He paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to continue. She could tell that the subject had been troubling him for quite some time, something he had been aching to get off his chest for longer than just the events of that day. He watched her expression carefully as he continued. “Emma, are you… afraid of me?”  
        Emma opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, unsure of how to respond to such a direct and disquieting question. The subtle action was enough of an answer for him and his face fell.  
        “You are?” His eyes scoured hers for answers as he attempted to bury the hurt and confusion he so clearly felt. Emma felt herself teetering on the edge of telling him everything, the threats, the conspiracies… His seething anger from earlier that day was still fresh in her mind but the secrets that she held within were yearning to be spilled, pushing ever stronger to force her to tell him everything, even if it meant endangering his life.  
        “Kaz, it’s not like that.”  
        “Then why can’t you tell me anything?” He waited for her response but she looked down, afraid that in her haze she would say more than she should, afraid of what would happen if she did. In a sudden act of desperation he took hold of her shoulder and gave her a firm shake, perhaps in an attempt to startle an honest answer out of her for once. _“Why can’t you tell me anything?!”_ he repeated, his voice breaking. He relaxed his grip and let his hand fall, ashamed of his moment of weakness. His voice grew quieter, his eyebrows knit. “Just speak to me, Em. Please. I can’t help you if you don’t open up.”  
        “I can’t.” She could feel tears burning in her eyes and she silently willed them not to fall, not to have them betray her by showing him the weakness and emotional instability that had been plaguing her.  
        “You just...  _can’t?”_ His face was wrought with concern and helplessness as he waited for her to say something, anything, to help him make sense of what was going on. She knew she couldn’t, and it was killing her to see him at his wit's end.  
        For lack of any words that could make him understand, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her cheek against his meticulously ironed lapel, a tear or two sinking into the deep green fabric. He was taken aback for a moment, but his arm slowly closed around her and he began to gently sway her back and forth as he sighed defeatedly.  
        “ _Emmaline._ ” He fought to retain a calm and comforting tone for her sake. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you back out there so soon.”  
        It broke her heart to see him blaming himself, but she knew there was nothing she could do or say without compromising his safety. She clung to him tighter, afraid that he, too, might turn out to be just a figment of her imagination.  
        “I’m tired of feeling like this, Kaz,” she said quietly. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the familiar smell of his aftershave, how the fabric of his coat felt as she clutched it tightly, the heartbeat that she felt under hers. She began to cry quietly into the crook of his neck, unable to keep her scattered emotions at bay any longer, her frustration manifesting itself in her tears. “I don’t want to be here anymore. Let me go back to my unit. I swear on my life I won’t interfere, just please take me back with you.”  
        “It’ll wear off soon, Em.” He cursed quietly and pressed his cheek to her head. “I’m sorry for bringing all of this up at a bad time. You’ve been worrying me lately.” She heard a click as he adjusted the dosage of the valium drip, and he changed the subject as his hand gently rubbed her back. “Let’s make some time to see Catherine, hm? You need to get away from this for a few days. Maybe I do, too.”  
        “Please.”  
        “But for now you need to rest. I shouldn’t have stressed you like this.”  
        “It’s… it’s alright, Kaz,” she mumbled into his collar, her eyelids growing heavy.  
        He sighed and they both fell silent, finding themselves surprisingly content with the rare moment they were in, a moment of tranquility amidst the chaos. She could sense his frustration with her and her stubbornness, and she knew it would do nothing to help his temper in the coming days. He would still go on believing it was his fault, and she would never tell him the truth until she knew he would be safe. But for now they were satisfied with holding each other close, once more coming to the stalemate that they so often found themselves at. Their momentary serenity was a lie, but it was surely a beautiful one.  
        “Emma.”  
        Emma didn’t realize she had dozed off until his voice cut through the delicate silence. She drowsily lifted her head off of his shoulder, rubbing her eyes along with the tears that had dried in the corners of them.  
        “Get some sleep, kid.” He lowered her back down onto the pillow and pulled the blanket over her, leaning over to place a chaste kiss on her lips. “I love you.”  
        “Mm.” She hummed contentedly into her pillow, already feeling sleep tugging at her once more as Kaz rose and headed for the door. In a moment she had succumbed completely.

 

        A heavy thud from the floor above woke Emma before she even realized she had fallen asleep. She sat completely still, listening intently, but only dead silence met her ears. The monitor next to her no longer whirred quietly, and the constant hum of the temperature control unit was startlingly absent. A steady red blinking caught her eye and she squinted into the darkness of the small room, turning her attention to its source, which seemed to be the lock panel next to the door.  
        Emma pulled back the covers and slid her legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to let the room stop spinning before rising to her feet. She slowly withdrew the needle from her arm, flinching as a small stream of blood erupted from the vein. She reached for a pad of gauze on the bedside table and pressed it to her arm, realization suddenly hitting her as she looked back up at the IV bag. The electric pump was no longer working, possibly explaining why she had been so suddenly ripped from her deep slumber. She started to slowly make her way towards the door, cocking her head to the side slightly as she closed the distance between herself and the lock. Her fingers hovered over one of the buttons, and after a moment of hesitation she pushed it, jumping as the calm AI voice met her ears.  
        _“Malfunction. Please wait for assistance.”_  
        Her hands wandered over the surface of the door until she found the manual release, and upon turning the handle it quietly swished open under her touch.  
        Emma froze, an uneasy feeling suddenly manifesting itself within her. She was torn; part of her knew she had done enough to upset Kaz, and turning around and curling back up under the sheets was the best course of action, and obviously the most wise. But an even greater part of her urged her to investigate. If it was an ordinary outage the backup generators would have already kicked in without the slightest hiccup, but it was apparent that they hadn’t.  
        She stepped cautiously into the hall outside her door, which was completely still, absent of any guards or doctors. The metal of the floor was cold against her bare feet, and she shivered as goosebumps cropped up on her skin. She had never realized how cold Mother Base could get at night until now, and she longed to be back under those blankets. Rain pattered quietly against the windows, muted flashes of lighting periodically illuminating the otherwise dark hall. The locks on the other doors were blinking steadily in unison, marking her path in their flickering red glow as she quietly made her way towards the stairs.  
        She trailed her hand along the wall to guide her as she descended, stepping quietly and carefully as she went. As she reached the lower floor she paused, unsure of which way to go. At the end of the hall she could see the beam of a flashlight passing over the wall and she quickly ducked into the adjacent hallway.  
        Suddenly the low rumble of a man’s voice met her ears and she made her way to the doorway of the room it had originated from, lingering just outside and straining her ears to make out what he was saying.  
        “Which room?”  
        There was a choking sound and another man’s voice rose from the silence, more panicked than the first.  
        “I- I don’t know, they don’t tell me these things.”  
        Emma peered around the corner to see a black shape in the darkness, and as her eyes adjusted she could make out the forms of two men, one of whom was forced into a headlock by the other.  
        “Last chance,” the first voice said.  
        “I told you-” the other man was cut short by the sickening crack of his neck. Emma’s hand flew to her mouth and she pressed herself back against the wall, closing her eyes as her heartbeat thundered in her ears. There was a quiet beep and first man spoke into his earpiece in fluent Afrikaans.

 _"That’s another negative. We’ll have to do it room-by-room.”_  
        Emma could feel panic tying to take hold of her body and she peered cautiously back into the room. The man’s broad back was turned to her as he quietly attached a silencer to his handgun, and Emma took the opportunity to slide past the doorway, desperate to find a way out as quickly as possible. Another flashlight beam suddenly emerged from a doorway just in front of her and she dropped to the ground, sliding under a nearby gurney. She pressed her cheek to the cool floor and slowed her breathing as the sound of footsteps approached, and suddenly a pair of boots came into sight. They stopped mere inches from her hiding place, lingering for a moment as the owner’s flashlight passed over the room the other man had just been in. Just when Emma feared she could hold her breath no longer the man moved on, slowly making his way down the hall in the direction Emma had come from.  
        She quietly slid out from under the gurney, rising to a crouch as she looked around for the closest escape. It wasn’t long before she spotted one mere meters away from her and just down the hall. She crept towards it silently, her heart racing. The keypad was flashing red and she prayed the manual release would still be functional. She turned the handle and let out a breath of relief as the door slid open, taking one last look over her shoulder before heading outside.  
        Emma had barely set foot outside before a siren rang out across the platform, startling her out of her wits. She looked down to see that the tracking band around her wrist was glowing red, and she cursed herself for not taking note of it and finding a way to remove it before she left the building. Panic-stricken, she fumbled with it for a moment to try to pull it off, ultimately with no avail. She heard shouts from inside the building and she realized her only option was to make a break for it.  
         She ran, her bare feet splashing though cold puddles as the freezing rain poured down on her. She ran as if her life depended on it, and she was more than certain that it did. Her eyes scanned the platform for a guard, someone who could help, but she found no one. Something zipped through the air and a split second later she felt a pinching pain as a tranquilizer round embedded itself in her neck. She fell to the ground, her limbs already growing heavy and unresponsive. She pulled the needle from her neck and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, gritting her teeth as she tried to fight the effects in the way she had been trained to do. She managed to pull herself to her feet, but as she took off in a run once more the world began to spin, her vision fading. Her lungs were burning and she fought the urge to collapse at any second. Another tranquilizer shot through the air and hit her just shy of her shoulder blade. She dropped like a rock, knowing that at this rate it was only a matter of moments before she faded into unconsciousness.  
        She groaned as she pulled herself along the ground, wet strands of hair plastered to her face by the falling sheets of rain and the sweat from her exertion. The siren blared loudly, its tone seeming almost deafening as her senses became jumbled and slowly lost one by one. She continued to pull herself forward, her fading sight set on the Command platform just ahead, her safe haven that was just barely out of reach. Suddenly she felt a steel grip take hold of her arm and she was yanked up from the ground, the cold barrel of a gun pressed unforgivingly against her head as she was pulled back against a large figure. She was roughly dragged backwards in the direction from which she had just come, and she reached out helplessly with weakening arms towards Command, which now drew further and further away as she was pulled to the end of the Medical platform.  
        “I don’t think so,” a man’s gruff voice spoke in her ear as she was forced to the very edge of the platform. One of her feet slipped over the edge and she gasped as her balance went awry, her tunnel vision letting up just enough for her to see the choppy waves of the ocean below her, threatening to engulf her if she made one wrong move.  
        He removed the gun for a moment to speak into his earpiece, his hold around her throat tightening.  
        “I’ve got her right here.” He paused for a moment as he waited for a response. “Alright.”  
        The gun was pressed to her head once more and she felt it being cocked, sure that she was taking her last breaths as her vision gave out on her completely. All she could make out was the sound of the violent waves below her, the drone of the siren and the rain on her face, the only three indicators that she hadn’t passed completely into unconsciousness yet, that this was all very, _very_ real.  
        “It wouldn’t have come to this if you had kept your mouth shut.”  
        “I did,” she choked weakly, dropping to a dead weight in the man’s arms as she lost feeling in her legs. “I haven’t said a word.”  
        “Lying _bitch_.”  
        Suddenly a shot rang out and she pitched over the side of the platform, her world going completely silent and black long before the icy waves ever engulfed her.  
        


End file.
